I will never be able to take your flailing about stats seriously again (this is what you keep getting riled up about?)
About the fact that Fleeting is an anomaly? Yes. There is some fear, perhaps justified, that I'll never have stats that come close to that, outside my catch-all collection that people seem to like for God only knows what reason o.O (And, since the people who read it don't tell me, I really don't know why they like it!)
Seriously. Go take a look at my stats from last year from all the other stories, and you'll see that, aside from my fandom opus, I'm holding steady. Yes, its not an immodest amount of attention, I'll give you that - but its also not enough to justify the absolute sweep of awards I seem to have taken.
(Also - if you could see the list of people that have that story on alert? You'd realize how many of them aren't actually reading it anymore, LOL.)
I am not trying to be mean or harsh, but please try to chill about this.
LOL!! I'm trying to, I'm trying to. It's a long, slow process because I'm very stubborn and set in my ways, but I've already won half the battle, in changing my thinking about it all. Now its just a matter of putting that into place.
This is what you should be focusing on.
I'm trying to - and, in a way, I already am, by refusing to let whatever depression/anxiety/negativity I'm feeling "infect" my work. It's not that I have writers' block, on this or any other story I'm currently working on; its that my emotions are in a very weird place right now, and until I work through them, I'm not going to risk the stories I love so much. psyco_chick32 has been instrumental in me allowing myself to be okay with the fact that I'm being so slow on the update with those fics, and I really, really appreciate that <3
how many people review versus just read the story
This mostly bugs the shit out of me because I want to know what worked, and what didn't, and that's kinda hard to do without feedback. However, pretty much all of the pieces I listed at the bottom there, as being my absolute favorites of the year? Are the ones that have gotten the least amount of feedback. But I love them anyway, for what they've done for me, and that's kinda more what I'm trying to strive for, as I pick through my myriad of ideas. Mostly I'm tired of rejecting some because I know there's no way people will ever read them.
how many awards you get per nomination on average
That stat is something I seriously don't give any thought to until it comes time to do these posts (except with Fleeting, where it has become almost humorous to me, to see it continually nominated for stuff when I know it's never gonna place :P). That's the biggest pain in the ass stat to do, but its certainly an interesting metric to keep up with. I will go back to ignoring it for another 12 months so I can be surprised when March 11 rolls around next year to see the comparisons, LOL.
I think this: it is to my ever-loving frustration and deep, derisive bitterness that I never received the appreciation I thought was due for my work is the root of your problem, but I honestly do not know what to say in response to it
You don't have to say anything =) You can be surprised, or appalled, or think less of me for it, but this is the process by which I work something out of my system. And, considering the one thing I've wanted most from this fandom (that I've never voiced because HELLO HOW ARROGANT IS THIS) is recognition for writing my favorite character well, it shouldn't come as that much of a shock how long I managed to delude myself. Looking back at it now, it seems obvious that the Dokuga people were batshit insane, but it didn't become noticeable until certain things happened over there (namely, the website administrator coming back and bringing the wanky contingent with her) and it spun way out of control.
no subject
About the fact that Fleeting is an anomaly? Yes. There is some fear, perhaps justified, that I'll never have stats that come close to that, outside my catch-all collection that people seem to like for God only knows what reason o.O (And, since the people who read it don't tell me, I really don't know why they like it!)
Seriously. Go take a look at my stats from last year from all the other stories, and you'll see that, aside from my fandom opus, I'm holding steady. Yes, its not an immodest amount of attention, I'll give you that - but its also not enough to justify the absolute sweep of awards I seem to have taken.
(Also - if you could see the list of people that have that story on alert? You'd realize how many of them aren't actually reading it anymore, LOL.)
I am not trying to be mean or harsh, but please try to chill about this.
LOL!! I'm trying to, I'm trying to. It's a long, slow process because I'm very stubborn and set in my ways, but I've already won half the battle, in changing my thinking about it all. Now its just a matter of putting that into place.
This is what you should be focusing on.
I'm trying to - and, in a way, I already am, by refusing to let whatever depression/anxiety/negativity I'm feeling "infect" my work. It's not that I have writers' block, on this or any other story I'm currently working on; its that my emotions are in a very weird place right now, and until I work through them, I'm not going to risk the stories I love so much.
how many people review versus just read the story
This mostly bugs the shit out of me because I want to know what worked, and what didn't, and that's kinda hard to do without feedback. However, pretty much all of the pieces I listed at the bottom there, as being my absolute favorites of the year? Are the ones that have gotten the least amount of feedback. But I love them anyway, for what they've done for me, and that's kinda more what I'm trying to strive for, as I pick through my myriad of ideas. Mostly I'm tired of rejecting some because I know there's no way people will ever read them.
how many awards you get per nomination on average
That stat is something I seriously don't give any thought to until it comes time to do these posts (except with Fleeting, where it has become almost humorous to me, to see it continually nominated for stuff when I know it's never gonna place :P). That's the biggest pain in the ass stat to do, but its certainly an interesting metric to keep up with. I will go back to ignoring it for another 12 months so I can be surprised when March 11 rolls around next year to see the comparisons, LOL.
I think this: it is to my ever-loving frustration and deep, derisive bitterness that I never received the appreciation I thought was due for my work is the root of your problem, but I honestly do not know what to say in response to it
You don't have to say anything =) You can be surprised, or appalled, or think less of me for it, but this is the process by which I work something out of my system. And, considering the one thing I've wanted most from this fandom (that I've never voiced because HELLO HOW ARROGANT IS THIS) is recognition for writing my favorite character well, it shouldn't come as that much of a shock how long I managed to delude myself. Looking back at it now, it seems obvious that the Dokuga people were batshit insane, but it didn't become noticeable until certain things happened over there (namely, the website administrator coming back and bringing the wanky contingent with her) and it spun way out of control.