there's no such thing as an objective emotion.

I know that a lot of my readers are younger, and a lot of them see things in this idealized way. That's not a knock - they just haven't had as many cold realization moments as you or I have had (or, although I dread it, the many more that those older than us have had). When I have the characters do something shocking or very adult, that gets a lot of reaction. Some of my reviewers have been with me for a long time, and it's really interesting (to me, at least) to see how their reactions change.

I liked the examples in the article they gave, though, about helping make the kinkier stuff more believable if it was from the woman's POV - especially the whole rape fetish thing.

It's not something I'd really thought about, but it does make sense. I bet a lot of people wouldn't even be aware of how a POV shift could affect their reading of a scene like that. When it's any sort of BDSM or rape-fetish, etc., I think it's natural to want that sort of reassurance from the character that it's really okay with them.

Those sorts of scenes aren't my cup of tea either. So I'll leave actual investigation of that to others.