2024 Nostalgia Re-readathon | SVH #110: Death Threat

[luxken27]

High stakes...

Sue Gibbons, Jessica Wakefield's biggest rival, has been kidnapped! Just weeks after gorgeous Jeremy Randall left her at the altar for Jessica, things have gone from bad to worse for the Wakefields' houseguest. Now Sue's captor is threatening to kill her if the Wakefields don't pay up.

Jeremy, Jessica's fiancé, insists he'll find the kidnapper, and Jessica and Elizabeth are determined to help. But when Jessica discovers Jeremy in the wrong place at the wrong time, she smells a rat. Will Jessica have to betray the man of her dreams in order to save Sue's fortune - and her life?

As I noted on Goodreads, this book is mind-blowingly awful and pretty much has to be read in one sitting, or you'd never pick it up again. The ridiculous starts right from the first page, and continues until the last.

We start off with an extended recap of the last scene from the last book (God only knows why), with Jeremy arriving at the Wakefields' home in the middle of the night, claiming Sue has disappeared. He discusses this with the twins and the three of them decide not to (1) wake up their parents (as its two in the morning), or (2) call the police; instead, they opt for (3) going into the dark California woods and searching for her themselves.

Jessica is less than thrilled about this; Elizabeth feels guilty for all of the bad thoughts she ever had about Sue. The two set off alone while Jeremy claims to be checking elsewhere, but in reality he rushes to the cabin where the Halloween party was held, where Sue is waiting for him. As predicted, the two have cooked up a scheme to filch the money left to Mrs Wakefield instead of Sue by staging a kidnapping. Jeremy tells Sue to stay in the attic, out of the way, and he returns to herd the twins back home and begin his part as the grieving ex.

Jeremy shows his true colors as the pedo-grooming asshole that he is. He runs back and forth between the Wakefields' house and the cabin, eventually tying Sue up in the attic and basically leaving her there. Sue begins to have second thoughts about perhaps spending the rest of her life with this psycho (gee, really, Sue?), whereas Jessica is so lovesick and insecure that she clings to him like a puppy.

When the Wakefields receive the ransom call the next morning, the parents forbid the twins from leaving the house. Jeremy manages to convince them not to call the police, but Ned insists on hiring a private detective instead. This detective, Sam Diamond, is supposed to be the best in southern CA, but she's not terribly bright. She interviews all of the family and Jeremy in the same room, giving Jeremy the info he needs to stay one step ahead of the "investigation" around the kidnapping. Ned even makes a big deal about showing him the ransom money, after they all decide that not only will they pay it, but they will send the twins to deliver it. Master Detective Sam okays this, and even tells Jeremy the plan to follow the twins and nab the kidnapper. If anyone suspects Jeremy is behind this nonsense, they don't say or do anything to show it.

Meanwhile, because the twins are missing from school, everyone becomes concerned, especially Lila and Todd. Lila smells a rat and puts the most obvious bits together, concluding Jeremy is likely up to no good; after a muffled phone call with Jessica, and run-ins with both Wakefield parents acting strangely, she becomes convinced the family is being held hostage. She turns to her trusty boyfriend Robby and Todd to work out a very elaborate plan to rescue the family.

Retconned Robby (credit to impy, who chose that very apt nickname!) has been changed so much that now he admits to only having known Jeremy a few days before the fateful encounter on the beach - which means he knows nothing about him, not really, (making the events of #106 and #107 retroactively impossible), and oh hey! He very conveniently has a cousin who works for the local power company! They can totally steal some uniforms and a truck as part of their elaborate rescue plan! What could go wrong??

Lila obviously has the brain cells in this book, although Liz has a few, too, as she stares in marvel at the way Jessica is acting, even wondering what happened to the confident man-killer who is an expert at playing the field. Jessica is acting so insecure and jealous that it's just pathetic. WHY does she want this man?? He treats her badly! Claiming he's worried about Sue! Jess even goes to the lengths of stealing Steven's wedding ring from book #83 and giving it to Jeremy to try to strengthen their bond. It won't fit on the pedo-grooming ass's ring finger, so he is totally rocking a gold band pinky ring. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

The rescue squad pounces on the Wakefield house after the twins leave with the ransom money, just as Jeremy is barreling out of the house and putting on a ski mask. They hose him down with a fire extinguisher and jump on him, only to be stunned that it's Jeremy. They of course let him go (because of course they do), even as they're wondering why he's wearing a ski mask. Jeremy has disabled Sam's car, so he has plenty of time to follow the twins, release Sue, grab the ransom, and skedaddle before anyone is wiser.

The Wakefields discover their rescue party on the lawn and ask them WTF is going on, but everyone has a big hearty horselaugh when the twins and Sam return with the battered and beaten Sue, who has been rescued! Sam even brags that the money they used was actually counterfeit, to which Sue gasps. She's seen Jeremy's truly evil intentions and knows he will Not Be Happy when he discovers the money is fake. Still, she's prepared to leave with him, going outside and waiting for him like a moron before realizing that yeah, he never had any intention of returning for her. He was literally there to take the money and run. Sue is content to let him keep the money (especially now that she knows its fake) and laments that she's been just as foolish as Jessica has been about him.

Meanwhile, the crew is watching the video that Jessica took of the ransom drop, trying to discover any clue that they can as to the kidnapper's identity. They are all frustrated to realize that his face is too well-hidden, but Jessica sees the golden pinky ring and knows that it was Jeremy, all along.

The most frustrating thing about this book is that everyone has to be a complete idiot to make the plot even near the realm of plausibility. Jeremy is so certain that he can charm anyone into doing anything he likes that he's momentarily stunned that Mr Wakefield contacts a detective upon learning of Sue's disappearance. Like - really, dude? You thought you were that good? The fact that everyone acts very stupidly and allows him to make a clean getaway helps his cause, but surely someone (besides Sue and Jessica) know that he was behind it all? He was the only one who came and went from the Wakefield residence the entire time, so of course the leaks came from him! I wanted to throttle pretty much everyone.

The funniest bit was definitely learning that Bruce Patman won the costume contest at the Halloween party in the last book, and he came dressed as his own car, LMAO. I certainly hope that included the iconic 1BRUCE1 license plate!!

That, and the fact that Elizabeth's kidnapping from #13 Kidnapped! features in fairly heavy rotation during this stressful time, earns this book the single star I'm giving it.

Thank goodness we're near the end of this mess, even if we do have to go through a Thriller-length finale book to get there.