Dream Lover

[luxken27]

Read it at: LJ | MM.org

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Rating: X (explicit sex)
Inspiration: “Sweet Dreams” © 2008 Beyonce Knowles, James Scheffer, Wayne Wilkins, & Rico Love (Beyonce)

*falls over*

What's this? An actual piece of fic? From me?

Of the smut variety, no less?

I know, it's been awhile.

Please note: You need to be a member of my LJ community - luxken27_fics - to access this (and all *other* Y- and X-rated) piece(s) here. Its open to all and unrestricted to join, provided you told eljay you were eighteen when you signed up, and besides, shouldn't you be a member anyway if you like my work? :P

Its not often that the smut bunny visits me, so when this idea launched itself into my mind, I couldn't resist it for very long. I'm always looking to flex my creative-writing muscles, and one of the areas I feel relatively weak in is my citrus. I've always said I could never write just straight up PWP, and...well, this is my best shot at it, so if this also fails in that measure, well then I guess I'm just hopeless :P

This fic was borne of a few different inspirations, most notably the song I've linked in the header there. I know, I know ~ a Beyonce song?! Truth be told, she's sort of my guilty pleasure, and this particular song has been getting some seriously heavy airplay on the radio station I'm forced to listen to on my hour-long drive home from work. (Look, it's either Top 40 or country ~ sadly, straight-up alternative rock is dead to these parts :-/) I was really mesmerized by the video for the song, though, and that's what ultimately tipped the balance for me:

Whatever you think of her, you have to admit, this is a very visually appealing video...and if the smut bunnies are attempting to have their way with your muses, its pretty much pointless to resist.

This piece is also (personally) notable, because its the first thing I've written longhand since finishing Every Heart over a year ago. And now I remember why I can't write longhand anymore - I am a constant editor. I don't sit down to write until the idea is pretty well-formed in my mind, so when I dive into the first draft, I go back and pick, pull, pry, erase, and rewrite as I go along. I never really realized just how much I do that, unconsciously, until I didn't have the neat and nifty ability to merely press a delete key, or use copy/paste to move phrases around. Not counting the page containing lyrics, this fic took up 8 pages in my A4 notebook - and I'll bet you a good half of that is crossed out in some form or fashion.

[I wanted to take a picture (and will probably edit it back into this post when I do) of the pages, just to give some evidence of my system, because I'm meta like that :P My camera is currently buried in the depths of another room, however, so that will have to wait.] ETA: here is the promised scan of the original

As I said earlier, this will probably be my best attempt at writing PWP. Most of the stuff I crossed out of my original draft was copious amounts of backstory, which I think detracts from the focus here. That's not to say I don't have reason to focus on the sex; in fact, I think this is a pretty nifty twist on the 'ultimate fantasy lover' trope that seems rampant in fandom pr0n. But as I look back on what background I did flesh out, only to discard later, it looked and felt like a copout, like I was going down the garden path because that's my forte and/or to dodge the idea of writing visually explicit sexual scenes. So, it was a real challenge for me, personally, to finish this, because I went out of my comfort zone in a big way.

What can I say about the actual piece, without spoiling anyone foolish enough to read the author's notes before the entry itself? Yes, that is an intentional twist in the middle, and I really fought with myself about finding an appropriate way to wrap this up. What would make it believeable for the "big reveal" of the secret lover being Sesshoumaru, as opposed to Inuyasha? My original dialogue fit far better with the latter than the former, and yet it was our favorite icy demon lord whom I really wished to capture. Speaking of dialogue, a cookie to anyone who picks up on why half of it was italicized and the other half written in quotes =)

Ah, yes, and the "proof" that this is a songfic ~ I tend to write songfics differently from 99% of fandom, I've noticed, so I always kinda sorta feel the need to justify my reasons for calling some fics songfics and others just "inspired by" fics. I'm always inspired by some song or snippet of music, but it's only when I attempt to weave the lyrics into the fabric of the story itself that I say its a songfic. Can you read the story without the scene break lines? Yes, but it's not quite as connecting as it is when you read them. Can you read the piece and ignore the lyrics altogether? No, because some of them are key pieces of dialogue, description, or action. Its hard to write this way, bending the will of the muse around another person's words, but it's also quite fulfilling when you feel like you've succeeded.

In bold are lyrics that appear in the story itself:

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes
I'm going out of my head
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hand and be my guide?

Clouds filled with stars cover your skies
And I hope it rains
You're the perfect lullaby
What kind of dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't want to wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going nowhere
Baby, long as you're here, I'll be floating on air
You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't want to wake up from you

I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts / boy you're my temporary high
I wish that when I wake up you're there
To wrap your arms around me for real and tell me you'll stay by my side

Tattoo your name across my heart
So it will remain
Not even death can make us part
What kind of dream is this?