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Sweet Valley Confidential (sadly, not an April Fool's Day joke)
A sequel ten years in the making....
This book is horribly, unspeakably, laughably bad. Like, poke-your-eyes-out-over-bad-fanfiction bad. A the-creator-doesn't-even-know-her-own-canon bad. So bad you have to laugh, lest you cry, because these characters, as thin as they were in the original, campy, escapist '80s series, are completely unrecognizable.
That said, this review is both spot on and hilarious. This book needed less weepy Liz and more Miss Lila Fuckin' Fowler.
In a way, reading this horrible trainwreck of a sequel made me even more glad that Ann M. Martin had the insight to do a BSC prequel, instead. I'm almost afraid of how she sees her beloved characters, all grown up - I'm glad we still have the freedom to think up our own endings and expand our own head-canons =) Kudos, Ann! Your infinite wisdom, indeed...
This book is horribly, unspeakably, laughably bad. Like, poke-your-eyes-out-over-bad-fanfiction bad. A the-creator-doesn't-even-know-her-own-canon bad. So bad you have to laugh, lest you cry, because these characters, as thin as they were in the original, campy, escapist '80s series, are completely unrecognizable.
That said, this review is both spot on and hilarious. This book needed less weepy Liz and more Miss Lila Fuckin' Fowler.
In a way, reading this horrible trainwreck of a sequel made me even more glad that Ann M. Martin had the insight to do a BSC prequel, instead. I'm almost afraid of how she sees her beloved characters, all grown up - I'm glad we still have the freedom to think up our own endings and expand our own head-canons =) Kudos, Ann! Your infinite wisdom, indeed...
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Something tells me that this is one of those things that fans will put firmly into the "nope! not canon!" category. Probably rightfully so!
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So far, the fan response has been one of "OMG trainwreck! :D" from what I can see. I wish it was a bit worse, but alas. I am but one person. But if you have any serious attachment to Sweet Valley? Do yourself a favor and NEVER READ THIS.
Francine's Sweet Valley is occupied by immature pod people, and that's putting it nicely, LOL!! I'm glad I only spent $11 on this, less than half the cover price!
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Sure, it's one thing in fanfiction---if it's written well---but it's down right embarrassing for a professional writer to do it. Damn.
I never got into SVH, but that's awful that they did this to the series. Sometimes a series just has to END and let the fans play in the sandbox from there, you know?
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Frankly, she should never have broken her streak of nonwriting. It's putrid.
Sometimes a series just has to END and let the fans play in the sandbox from there, you know?
This has been in the works since the last Sweet Valley series ended, so fans have been hanging on for nearly ten years, dangled along by the idea that we'd get to see the twins and friends all grown up. I guess for that reason, there isn't much in the way of Sweet Valley fanfic out there. It's too bad, because the folks at
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To have such build up and then be let down like this? Ouch. I'm sorry.
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I was just amazed at how bad the book was, both in story quality and writing quality. It's not a guilty pleasure nostalgic throwback, but a total letdown and waste of 300 pages.
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But hey, it gives me hope that I can maybe get published some day? Hell, Twilight did that for me, too. If that can get put out, anything can.
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I'm doing okay, trying to plow through some writing so I have something to show for myself these days besides WTF reviews :P I hope you're doing well! You've been kinda scarce around these parts...
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I'll be sure to avoid this book. And sex scenes at the end? Just... no. Even in the sagas, they just faded to black (or panned to the wafting curtains, or whatever).
However, I am glad that I know of its existence. It is another book I'm avoiding. I just don't want to know.
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They are bad. Really, really bad. I couldn't even read them for the lulz the prose was so bad.
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First of all, I'm actually totally excited that Diablo Cody is involved with a SVH movie. She would be one who "gets it."
Secondly: ...Enid Rollins, who has become an ultra-conservative alcoholic gynecologist having an affair with a shoe salesman.
This makes me kind of want to read it. For laughing. :D
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And as for Enid...well, after she became Alex the alcoholic in SVU, I guess anything's possible?
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*protects the other SV books and puts this on the Gossip Girl shelf instead*
Plus side? This icon and your annoyed mood pic are both wildly appropriate. :D
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Your icon is totally appropriate, though, moreso than mine. I can just picture 12-year-old Jessica making that exact same face when told she's going to grow up and marry drippy Todd Wilkins. Mwahahaha!
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make fun of him.) It was funny hearing her work referred as fanfiction. In the end the characters belong to her. She can do whatever she wants with. There is nothing sacred about the books or their characters and people should stop making shrines to them. If she wants to make more money off her characters, more power to her. Fanfiction is in the end nothing more than using another's characters to tell a story in that universe. You may understand the characters better than author and can write better than author, but they are her characters. If she wants to make them grow up in strange and horrible ways, it is her right as author.Anything anyone else writes about SVH will merely be fanfiction.
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A stable of ghostwriters, that's who. The amusing thing here is that Francine Pascal didn't write a word of any of the umpteen Sweet Valley series herself, and all of a sudden she's going to write the sequel? I'm not even completely sure she read the series bible she supposedly wrote to keep the ghostwriters in line!
It was funny hearing her work referred as fanfiction. In the end the characters belong to her.
Oh, we know its not fanfiction (boy, how painfully we know this!) but it reads like fanfiction. Badly crafted, badly plotted, badly written amateurish "I'mma kill your childhood!" fanfiction. The conviction with which the story is told also makes me wonder if this was her plan for the characters all along, especially the endgame pairings - because the 143 books that were written previous to this one? Have different characterizations entirely.
I think most of us are disappointed not that she wrote this story herself, but that she did such a shitty job of it. The original series weren't exactly literary masterpieces, but at least the characters made sense and the relationships felt somewhat real, not forced. Here? She basically waved her magic wand and expected us to just buy it without any persuasion at all.
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This story did inspire me to look at other series that my wife read. Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew. All ghost written with authorship sold for $125 per book or less. It was to read about Nancy Drew case where Harriet Adams,daughter of the original publisher claimed authorship of the early books only to have the original writer trotted out to show that she not Adams wrote those books from the rough outline Adams father provided and Adams only edited them.
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I read most of the Sweet Valley High series about about half of Sweet Valley Twins. That's two of the seven series (Kids, Twins, Junior High, High, Senior Year, SVU, and Elizabeth). So, in actuality, I don't even know how much of canon was just jossed - but if she screwed up the core series and its first spin off this badly, I don't even want to know about the rest of it o.O
How many did the series creator actually write?
Zero. She was the keeper of the series bible, which was a gigantic book that outlined, in great detail, all aspects of the characters, the setting, and the universe. The fact that the seven disparate series can't even get their continuity together should've been a big red warning flag that this book was probably not going to take anything previously written into account, but what I can I say? I'm an optimist :P
The creator is looking forward to Sweet Valley High, the Musical (Are You?)
No, but I do agree with Frannie that SVH the TV series sucked. The producers went the campy route when they should've gone the soapy route, like the books. I'd have killed to see the Evil Twin miniseries brought to life!
Usually checking to make sure it does not contradict the story line of the previous books is the job of a editor and any researcher.
But who's going to contradict the creator of the universe? Some writers think they're above reproach, after all.