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Monarch of the Glen | Writing exercise - Lexie's proposition
In my never-ending quest to understand the characters I play with, I decided that I would use one of my Summer Mini Challenge prompts to complete a writing exercise - and, as the rules of the challenge state, post it publicly.
I wanted to explore this scene from the Monarch of the Glen canon. I wanted to do this from Archie's POV, because I just couldn't wrap my head around what he said when he rejected Lexie's advances:
Not, "I love Katrina," or indeed any mention of the word love at all...yet that's what he means. And given that when he *does* eventually confess his love to Lexie he says, "I love you, Lexie. I think I always have," I suddenly found an emotional knot that I was determined to untwist.
Here is my effort:
---
Archie sighed, sliding down the side of the tub, watching idly as steam rose up around the bubbles of his bathwater. It was one of the few luxuries of living in this ancient, rambling, ramshackle castle – being able to take long, hot, solitary baths. It was also the only time he had to himself: to think, to contemplate – to get away from the world.
He’d long ago come to realize that he spent most of his time alone in the bath brooding over one thing or another. Goodness knows he had plenty to think about: the chieftain’s challenge; the threat of this heretofore unknown American cousin to an inheritance he never really wanted but somehow stumbled into; the clan gathering and the Highland Games; his family; Katrina.
He reached for the toy ocean liner that floated towards him, pushing the maddening swirl of thoughts from his mind. He hummed an old tune as he played with the boat, a childhood possession that had always brought him a strange sense of comfort. It was another reason why he liked to take his time in the bath: sometimes he just needed to regress back to childhood for a little while, to throw off the burdens of lairdship.
God, what he wouldn’t give to be a kid again these days…
Beyond the bathroom door, he heard a range of footsteps and the clink of ceramic. He didn’t pay it much attention; the old walls were paper thin, and he could often hear the goings on of the house even while he was far, far away in his own head. So, he thought nothing of it when a voice called out to him.
“Arch?” Whoever it was came closer, and their voice got a little clearer. “That you?”
“Yup,” he replied absently, arching his feet and stretching out the muscles of his legs and lower back as he sank further into the water. He’d been up all night, twisted into an uncomfortable chair in the library, cramming five hundred years of family history into his head while his would-be usurper smirked at him from a darkened corner. He had knots in muscles he didn’t even know existed – and somehow, he was supposed to pull himself together enough not only to prove his fitness for the lairdship, but leadership of the clan as well?
Shoot me now, he thought for the thousandth time since arriving at Glenbogle. Someone, please, put me out of my misery.
The door to the bathroom burst open just then, and Lexie walked in with a purposeful stride and nervous smile.
“Lexie! What are you doing?” Archie cried, sitting up suddenly and grabbing the washcloth that had been hanging on the side of the tub. He splashed around incoherently for a moment before finally managing to sort himself with a modicum of dignity. “I’m – ”
“Busy?” she supplied, quickly shutting the door again. “I know. But.” She came to a halt at the far end of the tub and clutched her hands together very tightly. “I’ve got something important to tell you, and it can’t keep any longer.”
He adjusted the washcloth in his lap, watching hopelessly as the toy boat floated beyond his reach.
She took a deep, unsteady breath and leveled her gaze on him. “Now, you know I fancied you from the minute I saw you,” she began, “and since I’ve gotten to know you as a person – a man – my feelings have grown.”
He swallowed hard as his heart picked up speed. “Have they?” he managed to choke out.
She offered him a small smile. “You’re – caring,” she said tenderly. “You’re kind. You think about other people…but at the same time, you’re strong. You’re special, Arch.”
He could only stare at her, dumbfounded. An awkward pause stretched out between them.
She leaned forward against the tub as she held his gaze. “I want to be with you,” she told him, plainly, directly. “Understand me?”
His jaw dropped. His heart skipped a beat. Several beats, actually.
“What do you say?” she asked softly.
He had no idea what to say, or do, or even think – she’d managed to completely blindside him.
A myriad of thoughts raced through his mind, but he couldn’t give any of them voice. “Um,” he stumbled, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s difficult.” He’d never been propositioned quite so bluntly before, much less by someone he knew and cared for as much as he did for Lexie.
He averted his eyes, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “I…don’t know what to say,” he finally confessed with an embarrassed smile.
Lexie arched a brow, unimpressed with his non-response. “Well, work it out,” she suggested, grabbing the chain attached to the tub’s stopper and releasing it. “Quick,” she added with a sly smile as the water began to swirl around him and flow down the drain.
“Lexie,” he groaned, a furious flush rising up the back of his neck. He should’ve known better than to think she’d let him off the hook that easily. She was nothing if not direct, and it was one of her more refreshing qualities.
He worked hard to make sense of his jumbled thoughts, but his words caught in the back of his throat as he worked past the lump that had risen up. “You’re – ”
He wasn’t entirely sure how to continue that sentence. She was – well, everything to him: a wonderful friend, a spirited companion, quick-witted and honest and loyal and strong. She was incredibly strong, and determined and gritty and stubborn. He admired her a great deal, especially knowing what she’d been through – but was admiration the same thing as love?
“You’re – ” And suddenly, his words came rushing back to him, all of the things about her that her erstwhile mother had so obviously envied upon their rocky reunion: her independence, her self-reliance, her self-assurance…and her looks.
God, but she was gorgeous – and flirtatious, and sexy, and an amazing kisser. Memories of their damn fine snog in the middle of the night – in the middle of nowhere – on the sleeper back from London rushed to the fore of his mind.
The water level was sinking fast, so he just started to spit it all out, for better or worse: “You’re funny, you’re clever, you’re beautiful, you’re wise…”
He looked at her then, and watched as her expression started to crumble. It twisted at his heart, and his gut, and that’s when he realized just what it was that he was trying to say. He didn’t want to lose her, in any capacity. The stakes were too high; he valued her presence in his life too much to risk screwing it all up. But now, if she was confessing feelings of love for him, and he couldn’t reciprocate…
How could he do it? How could he keep her, if all he ended up doing was hurting her?
“You’re very, very sweet,” he added, wincing at the hollowness of his tone as he picked at the corners of his washcloth.
Her gaze didn’t waver from his. “But,” she prompted, disappointment lacing her features.
He took a moment, taking the measure of what he had to say. He couldn’t explain it, not in any way that would make sense to another person. Maybe his feelings for Lexie ran deeper than he cared to admit, but at the same time, they had nothing to do with Katrina. He’d known Katrina since they were kids, and rediscovering her had been a fascinating, if frustrating, process. What he felt for her was as maddening as it was passionate – it was blasted, bloody irritating, but it was also addicting. He’d already lost her and found her and lost her again…and now she was back, and if he wanted her, he was going to have to actively pursue her.
There was no comparison to be made. Not really. He cared about them both, and wanted them both in his life. If Lexie thought she was competing for his affections, she was wrong.
But that didn’t mean he could give her what she wanted.
He sighed as the now-familiar weight of the world bore down on his shoulders. “Katrina got to me first,” he said softly.
Lexie pursed her lips, giving a short nod as she let go of the stopper’s chain. “I see,” she said tightly, valiantly attempting to school her features into a neutral expression – and absolutely, utterly failing.
“I’m sorry, Lexie,” he added, a sense of regret flooding through him as he gazed at her. “I really am.”
She shrugged. “That’s all right,” she murmured sadly. “I’d already guessed it, anyway.”
Before he could respond, the door once again burst open, this time to reveal his parents, already dressed in their full regalia for the clan reunion.
“Archie,” his mother began, stopping short when she noticed Lexie standing at the foot of her son’s bath. She greeted her with a smile and a pat on the shoulder before turning her attention back to him. “Archie, your father’s anxious to leave.”
Hector popped into the door frame, a jovial smile gracing his craggy face. “C’mon, my boy!” he cried. “I’ve got my keys, I’ve got my sword – now I need my champion!” He hustled his wife back out into the hall, and they continued on their way.
Archie’s eyes swept back to Lexie, his father’s words resonating through him as he gazed at her. Her eyes were still trained on him, but her look was far away. It’ll be okay, he wanted to tell her, but he found that he couldn’t.
Maybe because he didn’t quite believe it himself.
---
I wrote this for the prompt "bubble" in my 2015 Summer Mini Challenge table. In addition to using the scene itself, I also drew on the heaviness of this song for inspiration. It captures the sort of disbelief and perhaps hopeless hope that I think he felt when confronted with Lexie's feelings.
Though this scence was a straight-up rejection on the surface, it simultaneously deepens the pair's relationship, because Archie finally realizes just what Lexie does mean to him. I wanted it to be there, but for him to be blind to it. He calls her his "very, very best friend" - which in my book is a much stronger foundation for a romantic relationship than something rooted in passion.
Of course, the fact that he kissed Lexie more times than pretty much all of his love interests put together also probably says something about (unconscious) his feelings for her, LOL.
I wanted to explore this scene from the Monarch of the Glen canon. I wanted to do this from Archie's POV, because I just couldn't wrap my head around what he said when he rejected Lexie's advances:
Not, "I love Katrina," or indeed any mention of the word love at all...yet that's what he means. And given that when he *does* eventually confess his love to Lexie he says, "I love you, Lexie. I think I always have," I suddenly found an emotional knot that I was determined to untwist.
Here is my effort:
---
Archie sighed, sliding down the side of the tub, watching idly as steam rose up around the bubbles of his bathwater. It was one of the few luxuries of living in this ancient, rambling, ramshackle castle – being able to take long, hot, solitary baths. It was also the only time he had to himself: to think, to contemplate – to get away from the world.
He’d long ago come to realize that he spent most of his time alone in the bath brooding over one thing or another. Goodness knows he had plenty to think about: the chieftain’s challenge; the threat of this heretofore unknown American cousin to an inheritance he never really wanted but somehow stumbled into; the clan gathering and the Highland Games; his family; Katrina.
He reached for the toy ocean liner that floated towards him, pushing the maddening swirl of thoughts from his mind. He hummed an old tune as he played with the boat, a childhood possession that had always brought him a strange sense of comfort. It was another reason why he liked to take his time in the bath: sometimes he just needed to regress back to childhood for a little while, to throw off the burdens of lairdship.
God, what he wouldn’t give to be a kid again these days…
Beyond the bathroom door, he heard a range of footsteps and the clink of ceramic. He didn’t pay it much attention; the old walls were paper thin, and he could often hear the goings on of the house even while he was far, far away in his own head. So, he thought nothing of it when a voice called out to him.
“Arch?” Whoever it was came closer, and their voice got a little clearer. “That you?”
“Yup,” he replied absently, arching his feet and stretching out the muscles of his legs and lower back as he sank further into the water. He’d been up all night, twisted into an uncomfortable chair in the library, cramming five hundred years of family history into his head while his would-be usurper smirked at him from a darkened corner. He had knots in muscles he didn’t even know existed – and somehow, he was supposed to pull himself together enough not only to prove his fitness for the lairdship, but leadership of the clan as well?
Shoot me now, he thought for the thousandth time since arriving at Glenbogle. Someone, please, put me out of my misery.
The door to the bathroom burst open just then, and Lexie walked in with a purposeful stride and nervous smile.
“Lexie! What are you doing?” Archie cried, sitting up suddenly and grabbing the washcloth that had been hanging on the side of the tub. He splashed around incoherently for a moment before finally managing to sort himself with a modicum of dignity. “I’m – ”
“Busy?” she supplied, quickly shutting the door again. “I know. But.” She came to a halt at the far end of the tub and clutched her hands together very tightly. “I’ve got something important to tell you, and it can’t keep any longer.”
He adjusted the washcloth in his lap, watching hopelessly as the toy boat floated beyond his reach.
She took a deep, unsteady breath and leveled her gaze on him. “Now, you know I fancied you from the minute I saw you,” she began, “and since I’ve gotten to know you as a person – a man – my feelings have grown.”
He swallowed hard as his heart picked up speed. “Have they?” he managed to choke out.
She offered him a small smile. “You’re – caring,” she said tenderly. “You’re kind. You think about other people…but at the same time, you’re strong. You’re special, Arch.”
He could only stare at her, dumbfounded. An awkward pause stretched out between them.
She leaned forward against the tub as she held his gaze. “I want to be with you,” she told him, plainly, directly. “Understand me?”
His jaw dropped. His heart skipped a beat. Several beats, actually.
“What do you say?” she asked softly.
He had no idea what to say, or do, or even think – she’d managed to completely blindside him.
A myriad of thoughts raced through his mind, but he couldn’t give any of them voice. “Um,” he stumbled, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s difficult.” He’d never been propositioned quite so bluntly before, much less by someone he knew and cared for as much as he did for Lexie.
He averted his eyes, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “I…don’t know what to say,” he finally confessed with an embarrassed smile.
Lexie arched a brow, unimpressed with his non-response. “Well, work it out,” she suggested, grabbing the chain attached to the tub’s stopper and releasing it. “Quick,” she added with a sly smile as the water began to swirl around him and flow down the drain.
“Lexie,” he groaned, a furious flush rising up the back of his neck. He should’ve known better than to think she’d let him off the hook that easily. She was nothing if not direct, and it was one of her more refreshing qualities.
He worked hard to make sense of his jumbled thoughts, but his words caught in the back of his throat as he worked past the lump that had risen up. “You’re – ”
He wasn’t entirely sure how to continue that sentence. She was – well, everything to him: a wonderful friend, a spirited companion, quick-witted and honest and loyal and strong. She was incredibly strong, and determined and gritty and stubborn. He admired her a great deal, especially knowing what she’d been through – but was admiration the same thing as love?
“You’re – ” And suddenly, his words came rushing back to him, all of the things about her that her erstwhile mother had so obviously envied upon their rocky reunion: her independence, her self-reliance, her self-assurance…and her looks.
God, but she was gorgeous – and flirtatious, and sexy, and an amazing kisser. Memories of their damn fine snog in the middle of the night – in the middle of nowhere – on the sleeper back from London rushed to the fore of his mind.
The water level was sinking fast, so he just started to spit it all out, for better or worse: “You’re funny, you’re clever, you’re beautiful, you’re wise…”
He looked at her then, and watched as her expression started to crumble. It twisted at his heart, and his gut, and that’s when he realized just what it was that he was trying to say. He didn’t want to lose her, in any capacity. The stakes were too high; he valued her presence in his life too much to risk screwing it all up. But now, if she was confessing feelings of love for him, and he couldn’t reciprocate…
How could he do it? How could he keep her, if all he ended up doing was hurting her?
“You’re very, very sweet,” he added, wincing at the hollowness of his tone as he picked at the corners of his washcloth.
Her gaze didn’t waver from his. “But,” she prompted, disappointment lacing her features.
He took a moment, taking the measure of what he had to say. He couldn’t explain it, not in any way that would make sense to another person. Maybe his feelings for Lexie ran deeper than he cared to admit, but at the same time, they had nothing to do with Katrina. He’d known Katrina since they were kids, and rediscovering her had been a fascinating, if frustrating, process. What he felt for her was as maddening as it was passionate – it was blasted, bloody irritating, but it was also addicting. He’d already lost her and found her and lost her again…and now she was back, and if he wanted her, he was going to have to actively pursue her.
There was no comparison to be made. Not really. He cared about them both, and wanted them both in his life. If Lexie thought she was competing for his affections, she was wrong.
But that didn’t mean he could give her what she wanted.
He sighed as the now-familiar weight of the world bore down on his shoulders. “Katrina got to me first,” he said softly.
Lexie pursed her lips, giving a short nod as she let go of the stopper’s chain. “I see,” she said tightly, valiantly attempting to school her features into a neutral expression – and absolutely, utterly failing.
“I’m sorry, Lexie,” he added, a sense of regret flooding through him as he gazed at her. “I really am.”
She shrugged. “That’s all right,” she murmured sadly. “I’d already guessed it, anyway.”
Before he could respond, the door once again burst open, this time to reveal his parents, already dressed in their full regalia for the clan reunion.
“Archie,” his mother began, stopping short when she noticed Lexie standing at the foot of her son’s bath. She greeted her with a smile and a pat on the shoulder before turning her attention back to him. “Archie, your father’s anxious to leave.”
Hector popped into the door frame, a jovial smile gracing his craggy face. “C’mon, my boy!” he cried. “I’ve got my keys, I’ve got my sword – now I need my champion!” He hustled his wife back out into the hall, and they continued on their way.
Archie’s eyes swept back to Lexie, his father’s words resonating through him as he gazed at her. Her eyes were still trained on him, but her look was far away. It’ll be okay, he wanted to tell her, but he found that he couldn’t.
Maybe because he didn’t quite believe it himself.
---
I wrote this for the prompt "bubble" in my 2015 Summer Mini Challenge table. In addition to using the scene itself, I also drew on the heaviness of this song for inspiration. It captures the sort of disbelief and perhaps hopeless hope that I think he felt when confronted with Lexie's feelings.
Though this scence was a straight-up rejection on the surface, it simultaneously deepens the pair's relationship, because Archie finally realizes just what Lexie does mean to him. I wanted it to be there, but for him to be blind to it. He calls her his "very, very best friend" - which in my book is a much stronger foundation for a romantic relationship than something rooted in passion.
Of course, the fact that he kissed Lexie more times than pretty much all of his love interests put together also probably says something about (unconscious) his feelings for her, LOL.