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Every Heart: Notes for Chapter 16
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Link to FF.net
There's something about these latest chapters: they are getting longer and longer. Not that it's a bad thing; I'm really excited about the content of this chapter, and I've been thinking about it and plotting it in detail for over a week. Considering I usually update every 7-10 days, this is pretty extreme. But I'm proud of the depth of emotion in this chapter; it came out just as I'd hoped.
Link to FF.net
There's something about these latest chapters: they are getting longer and longer. Not that it's a bad thing; I'm really excited about the content of this chapter, and I've been thinking about it and plotting it in detail for over a week. Considering I usually update every 7-10 days, this is pretty extreme. But I'm proud of the depth of emotion in this chapter; it came out just as I'd hoped.
There are a few manga chapter references here; the most obvious is Chapters 86-87, as Kohaku regains his memories for the final time, but I also put in a shoutout to Chapter 182, one of the few times we see just how Naraku controlled Kohaku by threatening to make him relive the murder of his family and friends. The psychological horror is top-notch, and I hope I drew on some of that horror for the retelling - and regaining - of memory.
I was partly inspired by a wonderful piece of art I saw of Kohaku, one of the few dark-themed pieces that captures the tragedy of the character. Though not actively on my mind when I penned this chapter, its safe to say I probably wouldn't have chosen ritualistic suicide as my first choice for his reaction without seeing it :)
I hoped to contrast the darkness of Kohaku's memory with the happiness and spontaneity of Miroku and Sango's marriage. It was rather spur-of-the-moment (and kinda out of left field), but not really. They've been engaged for most of the manga, and in my universe, that's about one and a half years. They have accomplished everything they wanted to do before beginning their family. So, why not give them a nudge in the right direction?
It was hard to suss out Sango's character and her reaction to their marriage, but I thought it fitting of her character to view their union as a freeing, joyous event. She can start to let go of some of her anguish and despair and enjoy life, starting with the quite handsome, charming, and intensely devoted man before her. Why not? I see her has someone who'd make the decision to let her inhibitions go and who wouldn't stop herself once she made up her mind.
I couldn't bring myself to write a full-fledged lemon, but I thought it important to see a glimpse of Miroku and Sango in their private lives, as they experience their first intimacy. After I wrote that scene, I gave serious thought about whether or not to up the rating of the overall story. It's not much, but there will be some juicy stuff when Inuyasha and Kagome are reunited, and I figured the idea of lemons might be too much for a 13-year-old anyway...
Of course, all this hemming and hawing was before I wrote the most crucial scene of the chapter.
I seriously wasn't expecting Kohaku's memory restoration would be so dark or intense, but I quite like how it turned out. His mind would finally have it out with him, trapping him until he remembered everything about his initial trauma. Obviously that wasn't the only part of his memory that was blocked, but it was the most important. Really, it was only a matter of time, considering he was living in his family's home again.
I do think he is the sort of character who would jump off the emotional cliff like that, too. His quest in this story has been to find redemption for what he remembers, but as Miroku rightly pointed out, it was pointless to forgive him for things he couldn't remember, and which would traumatize him even more when he did remember. It was crucial he regain his memory before setting out to gain atonement.
Because he is so emotional, having him contemplate suicide in the grips of his worry and fear fits, I think. It was a bit frightening to go there in my own mind, but worth it for the outcome of the story. And, of course, such scenes demand a higher rating, no question.
So it was a bit of Sango (usually reserved, yet finding her sexuality and marriage freeing) vs Kohaku (usually timid but always emotional, finally going over the edge). A bit of compare and contrast, though I'm not sure how muddled it came out :)
I'm excited; we're nearing the home stretch of the story and its coming to me more intensely than before. Stay tuned!!
I was partly inspired by a wonderful piece of art I saw of Kohaku, one of the few dark-themed pieces that captures the tragedy of the character. Though not actively on my mind when I penned this chapter, its safe to say I probably wouldn't have chosen ritualistic suicide as my first choice for his reaction without seeing it :)
I hoped to contrast the darkness of Kohaku's memory with the happiness and spontaneity of Miroku and Sango's marriage. It was rather spur-of-the-moment (and kinda out of left field), but not really. They've been engaged for most of the manga, and in my universe, that's about one and a half years. They have accomplished everything they wanted to do before beginning their family. So, why not give them a nudge in the right direction?
It was hard to suss out Sango's character and her reaction to their marriage, but I thought it fitting of her character to view their union as a freeing, joyous event. She can start to let go of some of her anguish and despair and enjoy life, starting with the quite handsome, charming, and intensely devoted man before her. Why not? I see her has someone who'd make the decision to let her inhibitions go and who wouldn't stop herself once she made up her mind.
I couldn't bring myself to write a full-fledged lemon, but I thought it important to see a glimpse of Miroku and Sango in their private lives, as they experience their first intimacy. After I wrote that scene, I gave serious thought about whether or not to up the rating of the overall story. It's not much, but there will be some juicy stuff when Inuyasha and Kagome are reunited, and I figured the idea of lemons might be too much for a 13-year-old anyway...
Of course, all this hemming and hawing was before I wrote the most crucial scene of the chapter.
I seriously wasn't expecting Kohaku's memory restoration would be so dark or intense, but I quite like how it turned out. His mind would finally have it out with him, trapping him until he remembered everything about his initial trauma. Obviously that wasn't the only part of his memory that was blocked, but it was the most important. Really, it was only a matter of time, considering he was living in his family's home again.
I do think he is the sort of character who would jump off the emotional cliff like that, too. His quest in this story has been to find redemption for what he remembers, but as Miroku rightly pointed out, it was pointless to forgive him for things he couldn't remember, and which would traumatize him even more when he did remember. It was crucial he regain his memory before setting out to gain atonement.
Because he is so emotional, having him contemplate suicide in the grips of his worry and fear fits, I think. It was a bit frightening to go there in my own mind, but worth it for the outcome of the story. And, of course, such scenes demand a higher rating, no question.
So it was a bit of Sango (usually reserved, yet finding her sexuality and marriage freeing) vs Kohaku (usually timid but always emotional, finally going over the edge). A bit of compare and contrast, though I'm not sure how muddled it came out :)
I'm excited; we're nearing the home stretch of the story and its coming to me more intensely than before. Stay tuned!!