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Drabble Meme: My Innocent for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
langus_fiction
Another request fulfilled, and definitely one of the toughest of the lot :)
Unfortunately, I must admit outright that I failed to fulfill this request completely.langus_fiction asked me to cap this piece at 500 words, but I found I just couldn't do that. This is not a pairing I write frequently, and to express everything I wanted to, I ended up doubling the word limit. I hope you can forgive me, Langus...but I think you may understand why after you read the full piece :)
Title: My Innocent
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst
Word Count: 1171 (yeah - nowhere near drabble territory, sorry!)
Summary: Canon, post-manga. Rin struggles to admit to Sesshoumaru that her feelings for him have changed.
Author’s Note: Written for Langus, who requested “Sess/(older)Rin” from the drabble meme. Inspired, in part, by “Innocence” © 2007 Avril Lavigne/Evan Taubenfeld
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
~*~
Rin curled her shaking hands around her cup, staring down into the depths of the hot liquid. She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. This is ridiculous, she thought, bringing the tea to her lips for a dainty sip, her eyes still averted from her companion. It’s merely Lord Sesshoumaru.
She glanced up, a warm flush rising up the back of her neck. Her heart beat painfully in her chest as she gazed at him, greedily tracing the lines of his face, the turn of his shoulder, the elaborateness of his ensemble. Sitting this way – head turned away from her, eyes closed – he appeared no different from the first day she’d seen him, ten years ago in that forest clearing. It was his usual stance during these all-too-infrequent visits – he found the need to be chaperoned around her quite distasteful – so why was this time different from the last?
“Rin,” he said, breaking the silence of the room. “What ails you?”
She flushed again, tipping her head to her chest, clasping the cup even tighter in her hands.
I can’t tell him. I can’t admit to this – he’d never come back if he knew.
“You are terrible at keeping secrets,” he continued, his tone calm, if disinterested.
“My lord,” she began, her breath catching in her throat. She cast a quick glance to her left, where Kaede sat in the corner, sorting herbs. She bit her lip, willing the old miko to look up. If she was to speak of such a personal matter, she’d rather not have an audience.
Mercifully, Kaede appeared to receive her telepathic messages. She returned Rin’s troubled glance with a knowing nod, pushing her baskets away and standing up. “Please excuse me, Lord Sesshoumaru,” she murmured, shuffling towards the door.
Sesshoumaru didn’t acknowledge her as she passed, his eyes still closed, his head turned away. As soon as the door covering fluttered closed, however, he spoke.
“Rin.”
She shuddered under the imperious tone. With one word, he managed to convey multiple meanings: that he wanted to know what was bothering her; that he realized it was serious if she dismissed Kaede; that his interest had now been piqued to the point of outright demand.
She found herself powerless to resist his commands, even though she was no longer a child, subject to his severe guardianship.
She gulped the rest of the tea, the hot liquid scalding her throat on the way down. “My lord,” she tried again. “Something has…happened.”
Sesshoumaru was silent. He had not moved once since settling against the wall of the tiny hut, and he didn’t appear inclined to do so anytime soon.
Rin found the courage to face him, curious yet somehow afraid of his reaction. “A village boy tried to kiss me,” she burst out.
“Oh?” he mused.
“Yes,” she sighed mournfully, letting her eyes drop slightly.
She sucked in a breath when his hand found the hilt of Bakusaiga. “Did he hurt you?” he asked, his voice betraying no hint of emotion.
“No,” she replied, her heart fluttering in her chest. “It’s just…”
Oh, God, how can I say this to him?
“What?” he prompted after a long pause.
She raised her eyes, wanting to take in the peacefulness of his expression one last time. If she said this, nothing would ever be the same between them again – of that she was certain.
“I wanted my first kiss to be from you,” she admitted softly.
His eyes shot open, sharp and surprised; his hand tightened around his sword.
Rin’s face flamed as her eyes fell to the floor. Her heart beat painfully in her chest; her breath constricted as her throat closed over tears. I knew it, I knew it, she thought wildly. There’s no way he could ever understand.
Of course, she hardly understood herself what had come over her. She had no idea when these feelings for him had developed; one day, she just woke up and realized she was in love with her lord – deeply, helplessly, painfully in love with him. He was the standard by which she unconsciously measured all others – and no human man could ever be his equal.
But she could never have him. He was a great taiyoukai, one who despised the human race as lower than the ground he treaded. The fact that he still deigned to visit her was something of a small miracle, though this turn of events would most certainly put an end to such indulgence.
She squirmed as she felt the intensity of his gaze fall over her, biting her lips to keep her tears inside. She toyed with the cup in front of her, growing increasingly warm and uncomfortable as the silence between them lingered. She began to feel gangly and awkward as she sat there, under his assessing stare.
She knew he would break her heart, but she wasn’t going to apologize for admitting her feelings. If he’d taught her nothing else in their short time of travelling together, it was to make up her mind and stand by her convictions.
There was a rustle at the door. “My lord,” Jaken said in his best groveling tone. “It grows late. Can we not take our leave now?”
Sesshoumaru stood, and Rin released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
Would he say nothing?
“Leave us, Jaken,” he said dismissively, casting his golden gaze towards the downcast Rin once again.
She gulped under the weight of his stare, pushing herself up on shaking legs. Don’t go, she wanted to say. Don’t leave me here. Don’t tell me you don’t love me, that you could never love me. She took a deep breath, finding courage in her conviction. Don’t tell me I’m still a child in your eyes.
She raised her chin, meeting his gaze directly. Whatever she expected to see there – censure, disapproval, outright horror – was not what she found.
He covered the space between them in two strides, and before she realized it, she was swept away in his kiss.
Her heart stopped as she felt the gentle press of his lips against hers. She melted, reaching for him blindly, paying no heed to the sharp metal of his armor. He held her apart, however, one hand snaking over her neck, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw, his claws mingling in her hair momentarily before he pulled away.
“My lord?” she breathed, her eyelids fluttering open as her hands grasped his arms, desperately wanting to hold him in place.
He gave her an enigmatic smile, twirling a lock of hair through his fingers as he withdrew completely.
She exhaled sharply, bewildered and flustered, as he turned away from her and started for the door.
“Does this mean you’ll still return?” she called after him, one hand curling into the silk of her kimono, closing over her heart.
He glanced back at her as he raised the covering of the door. “Have I given you any reason to think otherwise?” he murmured.
Unfortunately, I must admit outright that I failed to fulfill this request completely.
langus_fiction asked me to cap this piece at 500 words, but I found I just couldn't do that. This is not a pairing I write frequently, and to express everything I wanted to, I ended up doubling the word limit. I hope you can forgive me, Langus...but I think you may understand why after you read the full piece :)Title: My Innocent
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst
Word Count: 1171 (yeah - nowhere near drabble territory, sorry!)
Summary: Canon, post-manga. Rin struggles to admit to Sesshoumaru that her feelings for him have changed.
Author’s Note: Written for Langus, who requested “Sess/(older)Rin” from the drabble meme. Inspired, in part, by “Innocence” © 2007 Avril Lavigne/Evan Taubenfeld
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
Rin curled her shaking hands around her cup, staring down into the depths of the hot liquid. She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. This is ridiculous, she thought, bringing the tea to her lips for a dainty sip, her eyes still averted from her companion. It’s merely Lord Sesshoumaru.
She glanced up, a warm flush rising up the back of her neck. Her heart beat painfully in her chest as she gazed at him, greedily tracing the lines of his face, the turn of his shoulder, the elaborateness of his ensemble. Sitting this way – head turned away from her, eyes closed – he appeared no different from the first day she’d seen him, ten years ago in that forest clearing. It was his usual stance during these all-too-infrequent visits – he found the need to be chaperoned around her quite distasteful – so why was this time different from the last?
“Rin,” he said, breaking the silence of the room. “What ails you?”
She flushed again, tipping her head to her chest, clasping the cup even tighter in her hands.
I can’t tell him. I can’t admit to this – he’d never come back if he knew.
“You are terrible at keeping secrets,” he continued, his tone calm, if disinterested.
“My lord,” she began, her breath catching in her throat. She cast a quick glance to her left, where Kaede sat in the corner, sorting herbs. She bit her lip, willing the old miko to look up. If she was to speak of such a personal matter, she’d rather not have an audience.
Mercifully, Kaede appeared to receive her telepathic messages. She returned Rin’s troubled glance with a knowing nod, pushing her baskets away and standing up. “Please excuse me, Lord Sesshoumaru,” she murmured, shuffling towards the door.
Sesshoumaru didn’t acknowledge her as she passed, his eyes still closed, his head turned away. As soon as the door covering fluttered closed, however, he spoke.
“Rin.”
She shuddered under the imperious tone. With one word, he managed to convey multiple meanings: that he wanted to know what was bothering her; that he realized it was serious if she dismissed Kaede; that his interest had now been piqued to the point of outright demand.
She found herself powerless to resist his commands, even though she was no longer a child, subject to his severe guardianship.
She gulped the rest of the tea, the hot liquid scalding her throat on the way down. “My lord,” she tried again. “Something has…happened.”
Sesshoumaru was silent. He had not moved once since settling against the wall of the tiny hut, and he didn’t appear inclined to do so anytime soon.
Rin found the courage to face him, curious yet somehow afraid of his reaction. “A village boy tried to kiss me,” she burst out.
“Oh?” he mused.
“Yes,” she sighed mournfully, letting her eyes drop slightly.
She sucked in a breath when his hand found the hilt of Bakusaiga. “Did he hurt you?” he asked, his voice betraying no hint of emotion.
“No,” she replied, her heart fluttering in her chest. “It’s just…”
Oh, God, how can I say this to him?
“What?” he prompted after a long pause.
She raised her eyes, wanting to take in the peacefulness of his expression one last time. If she said this, nothing would ever be the same between them again – of that she was certain.
“I wanted my first kiss to be from you,” she admitted softly.
His eyes shot open, sharp and surprised; his hand tightened around his sword.
Rin’s face flamed as her eyes fell to the floor. Her heart beat painfully in her chest; her breath constricted as her throat closed over tears. I knew it, I knew it, she thought wildly. There’s no way he could ever understand.
Of course, she hardly understood herself what had come over her. She had no idea when these feelings for him had developed; one day, she just woke up and realized she was in love with her lord – deeply, helplessly, painfully in love with him. He was the standard by which she unconsciously measured all others – and no human man could ever be his equal.
But she could never have him. He was a great taiyoukai, one who despised the human race as lower than the ground he treaded. The fact that he still deigned to visit her was something of a small miracle, though this turn of events would most certainly put an end to such indulgence.
She squirmed as she felt the intensity of his gaze fall over her, biting her lips to keep her tears inside. She toyed with the cup in front of her, growing increasingly warm and uncomfortable as the silence between them lingered. She began to feel gangly and awkward as she sat there, under his assessing stare.
She knew he would break her heart, but she wasn’t going to apologize for admitting her feelings. If he’d taught her nothing else in their short time of travelling together, it was to make up her mind and stand by her convictions.
There was a rustle at the door. “My lord,” Jaken said in his best groveling tone. “It grows late. Can we not take our leave now?”
Sesshoumaru stood, and Rin released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
Would he say nothing?
“Leave us, Jaken,” he said dismissively, casting his golden gaze towards the downcast Rin once again.
She gulped under the weight of his stare, pushing herself up on shaking legs. Don’t go, she wanted to say. Don’t leave me here. Don’t tell me you don’t love me, that you could never love me. She took a deep breath, finding courage in her conviction. Don’t tell me I’m still a child in your eyes.
She raised her chin, meeting his gaze directly. Whatever she expected to see there – censure, disapproval, outright horror – was not what she found.
He covered the space between them in two strides, and before she realized it, she was swept away in his kiss.
Her heart stopped as she felt the gentle press of his lips against hers. She melted, reaching for him blindly, paying no heed to the sharp metal of his armor. He held her apart, however, one hand snaking over her neck, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw, his claws mingling in her hair momentarily before he pulled away.
“My lord?” she breathed, her eyelids fluttering open as her hands grasped his arms, desperately wanting to hold him in place.
He gave her an enigmatic smile, twirling a lock of hair through his fingers as he withdrew completely.
She exhaled sharply, bewildered and flustered, as he turned away from her and started for the door.
“Does this mean you’ll still return?” she called after him, one hand curling into the silk of her kimono, closing over her heart.
He glanced back at her as he raised the covering of the door. “Have I given you any reason to think otherwise?” he murmured.
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500 words sometimes can be hard. The story will just demand what it demands.
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500 words sometimes can be hard. The story will just demand what it demands.
No kidding! I thought, "Let me write this out and then edit it down," and, well...yeah. No dice. There was nothing in the piece that wasn't absolutely necessary, given we're dealing with a man of few words and a bumbling, angsting teenager. Talk about actions being louder than words...
And, yeah. I've learned my lesson about attempting to tame muses!
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Then again, look at who we're dealing with...
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
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I'm glad you liked Rin's characterization. I struggled with it, and in the end wasn't completely satisfied. What good there is here is all due to the inspiration song. It was just the right mood, I thought: innocence reflected in the midst of change.
And Sesshoumaru - well, his enigmatic qualities certainly worked to my advantage :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
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Okay, that deserves a big one: SQUEE!!! I'm thrilled you love it so much, hehe.
Your characterization is impeccable. Your Rin is exactly the stubborn, determined, bashful and hopelessly in love teenager I'd hoped she would be and Sesshomaru was his usual enigmatic self. Every word from him I could picture perfectly. A perfect little scene between them.
*blush* Well thanks! The inspiration song was integral to this piece, no doubt: I really love the whole atmosphere of it, and the idea of innocence reflected and understood. I tried to balance Rin between her determination and her insecurity; admitting such feelings would be incredibly hard (especially to Mr Iceberg himself!), but she'd never be sorry for it. I think she's lived too difficult a life for that.
Sesshoumaru was...himself, LOL. A man of few words, but those words meaning so much. His enigmatic-ness certainly worked in my favor, as I was able to 'escape' at the end there without feeling too terribly uncomfortable - but hey, what are challenges for if not to push us to our limits?
Word count? What word count! Who cares about word counts when the end product is this :D Thank you immensely! I believe I owe you one now too, don't I?
Ahaha, I'm glad you don't mind :) Word limits are usually a pretty big deal with challenges, but since this was more along the lines of 'gift!fic' than true challenge, I thought you wouldn't mind if I wrote more ;)
Yes, you did offer to reciprocate, didn't you? Hmm...how about a little Sess/Kag? Canon universe is my only prerequisite - the rest is up to you :)
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*fangirl squees* The characterizations in this are absolutely perfect - I can almost picture it.
Awwwwww!
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*glare* Yes! How else am I supposed to show that the Ice Lord was upset? It's not like he actually admits it or anything! :P
*fangirl squees* The characterizations in this are absolutely perfect - I can almost picture it.
Awwwwww!
Seriously, I'm really surprised and flattered that everybody(?) thinks I got their characterizations en pointe. I rarely have the chance to write teenage Rin, and I tend to think I imbue everybody with far too much angst, just as a general rule...but who am I to go against the majority? :P
Squee!
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I think teenage Rin is a *prime* candidate for just that level of angst. I mean, the teenage years are angsty enough without being in love with the man who kinna fathered you, much worse that he's a full-blooded youkai who generally views humans are worse that useless...
*snickers* Poor girl... but it all worked out in the end ^_^
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The upside to writing a mostly-silent character is that his actions can definitely convey more than just mere intent, and they can be interpreted in various ways, depending on your personal slant.
I think teenage Rin is a *prime* candidate for just that level of angst. I mean, the teenage years are angsty enough without being in love with the man who kinna fathered you, much worse that he's a full-blooded youkai who generally views humans are worse that useless...
*snickers* Poor girl...
The upside of writing this from Rin's point of view (besides having gone through this angsty, emotional time myself *blarg*) is that I didn't have to come up with justifications for his actions in any way. I just let him be him, doing whatever he pleases and answering to nobody.
And yes, the moral of the story is most definitely have courage of your convictions!
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But, well, I'm generally not one to turn down a challenge, so I gave it a whirl. I'm glad everyone has enjoyed it, especially Langus :) Not a bad effort, for a pairing I'm not inclined to even read, based on a song by a singer I normally despise, I suppose :)
I couldn't imagine trying to write this scene in half the words.
The only way I could've done that would be to have cut off either the beginning (when she tells him) or the end (where he kisses her) - and what's the point of going through so much internal angst unless there's a payoff at the end? :)
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Anyway...I thought it was lovely :)
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I'm not comfortable with the idea of anybody raising their future husband/wife/mate/romantic partner. It's just...eugh, no thanks.
I guess I've been rather lucky, none of my fandom interests have burned out quite yet. Of course, it's not like I've been here for very long, either :P
Not familiar with the song.
The song is lovely (and linked, if you want to take a listen), but Avril Lavigne is not someone I admit to liking. She's one of those singers who sounds better with 15 layers of post-production than she does live. But she's released some catchy enough stuff, if you enjoy pop music.