Allegiance | 11: Insight

[luxken27]

MASTER SERIES INDEX IS HERE.

Title: Insight – Expanded
Genre: Angst/Drama
Universe: Canon
Rating: T
Warnings: Character death (implied)
Word Count: 1202
Summary: Sesshoumaru realizes he’s not the only one still suffering for his past.


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Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.

~*~
This is how you remind me…

He was standing in a vaguely familiar field, his back flush against a tree, gazing out at the scene before him. A girl, dressed in fine silk robes, drifted through the wildflowers, humming happily to herself as she absently picked a bouquet. Her hair flowed freely over her shoulders, dancing on the edge of a breeze, swirling around her like a cloud when she turned, flashing him the biggest, brightest smile he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing.

“Lord Sesshoumaru!” she called brightly, waving to him. “I have something special for you!”

He felt his lips curve into the barest of smiles in acknowledgement as she turned away, sinking gracefully into the lush grasses, heedless of the damage she was committing to her clothing as she busied herself with her task.

It was the very picture of contentment, a lazy afternoon spent in the company of his growing but ever playful ward…so why did he have the niggling feeling something was wrong?

He glanced over his shoulder, taking in the strange but familiar presence of the tree. As he gazed up into its lofty, high branches, it dawned on him: this was his secret place, the refuge of his childhood, a hidden clearing in the dense forest near his home.

He’d never brought anybody here.

Not even Rin.

A sense of foreboding crept over him as he reached out, his hand brushing against the bark.

Blood.

A spear of anguish pierced his heart, and he whirled around, facing the field again. The wind was stronger now, lifting the fine fur of mokomoko as it brushed by him. Rin was standing again, with her back to him, her arms crossed over her abdomen, the flowers long forgotten.

So much blood…

Look at me, he willed her, as another wave of unnerving distress rolled over him, clashing so mightily with the serenity of his surroundings. When she did not comply with this silent request, he took a step forward as sudden, irrational fear twisted through his gut.

He stumbled as he moved towards her, the metallic tang of freshly spilled blood in the air so sharp and swift it nearly brought him to his knees. Rin, he thought wildly, reaching blindly for the figure that never seemed to get any closer, no matter how far he went. Look at me!

Blood, blood everywhere…so much blood…

He was shocked to feel tears spring into his eyes, even as uncontrollable panic and despair washed through him. I won’t make it in time, he realized, breaking into a run.

Slowly…slowly she turned to face him, and finally, he began to make headway in his pursuit. Blood trickled down her cheeks from the corners of her eyes, sweeping by her mouth, staining the front of her kimono.

I recognize this blood, he thought hazily, finally drawing close enough to her to distinguish the scents.

It is hanyou blood…

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, clutching her arms tightly over her now bloody, once-swollen midsection. “My darling…”

She collapsed where she stood and he rushed to her side, picking up her body and cradling it close, gently rocking back and forth as sorrow overwhelmed him.

Blood, blood, was all he could think. So much blood, everywhere, covering her…covering me…

“Blood,” moaned a voice, somewhere outside of his consciousness.

Sesshoumaru jolted awake, sitting upright in his bed, his breath heaving rapidly in his chest. Absently, he pushed his hair away from his face, greedily sucking in the cool night air. It was only a dream, he assured himself, wiping a hand across his brow.

But…why would I have such a dream? Why now? Why about her?

A quiet, urgent whimpering met his ears, dismissing his momentary confusion. He sat up a bit taller, glancing over the side of the bed, his eyes falling to rest on Kagome’s tightly curled form. She lay in a ball near the fire pit, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth as she sobbed quietly.

“So much blood…everywhere…oh, my God,” she murmured brokenly.

Another wave of despair crashed over him as his youki raged against the power of her blood. I thought this was over, he groused silently, pushing the sheets away from his body and standing up, crossing the room to where she lay. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, forcing the tides of her volatile emotions back.

This will not control me, he vowed –

– only to be hit with that horrible image of Rin again.

“Why?” Kagome whispered from the vicinity of his feet, breaking through his internal struggle.

He crouched beside her, eyeing her warily. It was obvious she was having some sort of nightmare – and it seemed highly likely, given the unexpected strength and instability of their bond, that somehow her emotions had transferred to him, causing his own dreams to turn sour.

“Kagome,” he muttered, grasping her shoulder and giving her a none-too-subtle shake. “Awaken.”

She stilled under his hand, tears still streaking down her face, her breathing still erratic. Being so close to her, while she was in such obvious pain, roused his protective instincts. He narrowed his eyes, studying her now-silent form, debating what to do next. Panic and dread still ebbed at the back of his mind, giving him reason to believe she was still in the throes of her dream.

“Kagome,” he tried again, rolling her onto her back. “Stop this at once.”

She made a muffled, choking sound, but still, she did not awaken.

He sighed, sitting back on his heels, gazing over her thoughtfully. The emotions were beginning to fade from his mind, his usual sense of calm and balance once again restoring itself. Still, it troubled him that he could not rouse her; it also piqued his curiosity, as he wondered how her dreams could be related to his. She didn’t know the details of Rin’s death; indeed, she had only learned of the vaguest circumstances two days earlier.

“Kagome,” he said softly, allowing his hand to slide hesitantly over her neck, his thumb gently caressing her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, fresh tears trickling from the corners of her eyelids as her hands closed around his.

His heart skipped a beat, his skin warming to her touch as he continued his soft caresses, his fingers brushing lightly into her hair.

He was unprepared when she launched herself forward, suddenly clasping her arms around his neck, pressing herself against his chest, a new wave of warm tears pooling on his shoulder. He couldn’t resist the urge to wrap his arms around her in response, the need to protect and comfort his mate radiating heavily from his primal senses; his youki flared, filling the room, warding off any other potential harm.

“I’m sorry – I let you die – Inuyasha!” she choked out, absolutely shattering the moment. “I’m sorry – I wasn’t strong enough – to save you…”

And, suddenly, it all made sense, why the scent of hanyou blood had been so disgustingly visceral in his own dream.

“You’ll never forget him, will you,” he muttered, his embrace loosening as much as was possible without dropping her completely.

And you’ll never make room in your heart for me.