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Contrition (Prompt #28) | Inuyasha
Collection Title: Fleeting
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: Y
Summary: A collection of oneshots & drabbles centered around the fleeting moments in Sesshoumaru's and Kagome's relationship as they fumble towards one another. AU; Serial.
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un_love_you Prompt Table here. Prompt for this piece is: #28 (Author’s Choice): “Stop playing games with me.”
Title: Contrition
Universe: Alternate (modern era)
Rating: T (a bit of citrus)
Word Count: 2304
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Summary: Kagome confronts Inuyasha about his role in destroying her relationship with Sesshoumaru.
Author’s Note: #18 in a series. Part 1 | Parts 2-17
This chapter is dedicated to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
psyco_chick32, for helping me decide on which of the two prompts to choose from (even if she doesn't realize it).
The mega-meta resource post has also been updated with a few author's notes for those interested.
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
~*~
Kagome heaved a sigh of relief as she threw herself down on the blanket-covered ground. “Thank goodness that’s over,” she groaned dramatically to Sango, who gave her an indulgent smile and shake of the head in return. Kagome rolled onto her back, stretching out like a lazy cat in the afternoon sun. “Why does finals week have to coincide with the most beautiful weather we’ve had in ages?”
Sango glanced down at her over the top of her sunglasses. “Think of it as nature’s warped sense of humor,” she drawled, before turning her attention back to her phone.
Kagome shrugged, reaching into her bag for her own pair of shades. The girls were sitting on the edge of a park that adjoined the university’s campus, along with most of their fellow classmates. The sun was shining brightly down on them, the breeze warm as it stirred through their hair. It was a perfect late spring afternoon, not to mention the end of finals week.
“How’d you do?” Sango inquired, flipping her phone open as she received another text message.
Kagome groaned again, covering her face with her hands. “All I can say is, thank God it was the microeconomics of business – a class I could pass in my sleep!” She paused, peeking between her fingers to ascertain whether her friend was paying attention. Sango gazed down at her with a wry smile, as if she knew what was coming next. “Which I might as well have been doing, considering my mind has been otherwise occupied lately…”
Sango gave her friend’s hand a sympathetic squeeze. “Kagome – ”
“I know, I know,” Kagome interrupted, pushing her sunglasses up the slope of her nose. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen again, in its own time. I guess…I guess I just wish I knew if it was meant to be…”
She bit her lip to keep an unexpected wave of tears at bay. Pull yourself together, girl, she reprimanded herself. It’s not so bad as that, and you know it. You’re just exhausted from exams, that’s all.
Still…
It was hard, being so close and yet so far from the one she loved – sharing an apartment and a somewhat tenuous friendship with him, when she wanted – no, needed – so much more. The breadth and depth of her love for Sesshoumaru continued to grow, almost daily, fueled by fleeting moments in his presence: sharing a quick cup of tea in the morning, bumping into each other in hallway, studying in the common room while he quietly read his newspaper. She often found herself gazing at him, her heart longing for him as it always had, her body aching for the touch it had once known.
Maintaining a friendship with him was the only thing that pulled her from the depths of her despair following their bitter breakup. Ironic, perhaps, but she’d have it no other way. More than anything, she wanted him to be happy, and if that meant settling for a platonic friendship, then so be it. She would not push – after all, the last time she’d forced him to show his hand, she had been ill-prepared for the consequences of her actions.
She couldn’t stop herself from wishing, however. A little piece of her would always hold out hope that they would find their way back to each other. After all, if it was meant to be…
“So, that was your last exam, right?” Sango chirped, cutting into her friend’s heavy thoughts.
“Mmm,” Kagome mumbled, closing her eyes and positioning herself for optimal sun exposure. She’d love nothing more than to dream the afternoon away, maybe pick up where she left off that morning – a sensual summery getaway with the object of her affection to someplace terribly romantic, holding hands in the park, kissing in the rain, making love by the fire – from which she had been so rudely awakened by her alarm clock.
“Good,” Sango replied, her fingers flying over the keypad of her phone. She made a noise of satisfaction a few moments later, which caused Kagome to crack open an eye.
She regarded her friend warily. “Why did you ask?”
Sango waved her hand dismissively as she typed out a response. “I just wanted to be sure,” she hedged, hitting the send button with a flourish and glancing up, as if searching for someone.
A small knot began to form in Kagome’s stomach as she sat up. “Sango? What’s going on?”
Sango lifted her chin in reply, drawing Kagome’s gaze across the small park. Her heart plummeted to the lower reaches of her stomach when she realized Miroku and Inuyasha were approaching them, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
“Sango!” Kagome hissed, pulling off her shades. “I told you, I don’t want to see him!”
Sango gave her a pleading look. “Please, Kagome, just talk to him, okay? It’s been hell on earth trying to keep him at bay these last few weeks.” She paused, glancing down into her lap. “Besides, I think it would do you both a world of good to get this out in the open and settled, once and for all.”
“But Sango, after what he did to me, how can you – ”
Sango clapped her hand on Kagome’s arm. “Please?” she asked quietly. “You’re both my friends, and I hate seeing you in such pain. If you won’t do it for your own peace of mind, will you do it for mine?”
Before she could respond, Miroku and Inuyasha arrived at their blanket. Sango scrambled to her feet, pressing a kiss to her boyfriend’s cheek and taking his arm. “I’ll trade you,” she offered with a smile.
“Hmm, I’ll take you up on that,” Miroku replied coyly, giving his companion a little push forward while at the same time returning his girlfriend’s kiss.
Kagome quickly turned away from the sweet scene, shoving her sunglasses back over her eyes. She had no desire to see Inuyasha, for sure, but it was also hard to see another couple being so openly affectionate. Some wounds were still too raw.
“We’re going for lunch,” Sango announced, reaching for her bag. “You two stay and have a nice chat, okay?”
Kagome shot her a murderous look, mercifully hidden behind the tinted shades, as the pair strolled off, Miroku’s arm hooked loosely around Sango’s waist.
Inuyasha sat down on the blanket, not far from Kagome. She tacitly ignored him, staring out over the expanse of the park, her heart thudding heavily in her chest. She wasn’t sure what she felt – a mix of emotions, anger and sorrow and panic. She hadn’t spoken to him since unexpectedly waking up in his bed over a month ago.
“So are you ever going to talk to me again?” Inuyasha finally asked.
Kagome glanced at him. He was sitting quite stiffly, his arms wrapped around his knees, his gaze focused on the middle distance, also shielded from hers by sunglasses. The set of his shoulders and the thin line of his mouth betrayed the nervousness and insecurity he hid under the gruff tone of his voice.
“Should I?” she replied quietly.
He turned to face her then, peeling his sunglasses from his face. His eyes were intense as they met hers, a silent, affirmative plea.
Butterflies began to gather in her stomach as she looked back at him. God, but she hated confrontation. “I know what you did. I know who you are.”
He furrowed his brow, his expression puzzled. “What are you talking about?”
Kagome’s hands curled into fists at her sides. “I know you’re Sesshoumaru’s brother,” she spat with an exasperated sigh. “I know you were only using me in some twisted game to get back at him.”
Before she could place him, Inuyasha shot across the small space that separated them, his mouth meeting hers with hunger and urgency as his arms closed around her waist. Kagome found herself melting into his embrace under the heat of his kiss. “Are you so sure about that?” he whispered as he pulled away, one of his hands rising up to caress her neck.
Kagome’s head was swimming as she drew her breath. “Inuyasha,” she managed, her tone pleading, “stop playing games with me.”
He kissed her again, gently this time, his lips moving softly over hers. “I’m not playing,” he murmured. “I want you.”
She pushed him away. “Why? To spite Sesshoumaru? I saw the email you sent him after we slept together.”
His gaze smoldered. “I’ve always wanted you, Kagome. From the first moment I laid eyes on you, last year. Everything I’ve done since is because of that – no other reason.”
“Does that include dumping me with all the others after that Halloween party?” she asked warily, resisting another caress.
He looked hurt as his hand fell away from its intended destination. “I told you, I was called away from school last November,” he replied.
“Don’t lie to me,” she said sharply. “I know all about you. Sesshoumaru showed me your files.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Kagome,” he argued, his brows knitting together. “I don’t know what Sesshoumaru showed you, but he’s too paranoid for his own good sometimes. My interest in you has absolutely nothing to do with him.”
Kagome gave him a disbelieving look. “And threatening to kick his ass on numerous occasions was what, a joke?”
Her heart stopped at the searing gaze he sent back. “I was only trying to protect you,” he replied, the hint of a growl edging into his voice. “He’s been nothing but a monumental jackass to me in what few dealings I’ve had with him, and I didn’t want you to be hurt by him as well.” He took her hand in his. “I care too much for you to let that happen.”
“Inuyasha…” Kagome found herself at a loss for words. He sounded so sincere – how badly she wanted to believe him! Her gut told her he wasn’t evil incarnate, and even if his reasons didn’t necessarily justify his actions, she had little doubt that he cared for her as much as he said he did.
“You’re the first good person I’ve met since…” He paused, swallowing convulsively as he traced the lines of her fingers. “…since I’ve moved here. You’ve made coming here, and living here, a pleasurable experience, when it had been nothing but a nightmare since my mother’s death.”
Oh, God, she thought, her heart flooding with sympathy for him as the details of his past emerged from the haze of her memory – she knew he had only recently come to this country after growing up under his mother’s care in France, and that it had been quite the battle to separate him from his maternal grandparents upon her death. No doubt he had fought tooth and nail the idea of coming to live with the man who had abandoned him for most of his life, which just made her all the more curious about his relationship with his father. She already knew of Sesshoumaru’s shaky connection to their father – was it possible that Inuyasha somehow fared even worse?
Or was this all some sort of elaborate story he was conjuring to garner her sympathy and trust once more? After all, he had played a decisive role in destroying her relationship with his brother, and he had relished it – well, what she could remember of it. A blush rose to her cheeks as she recalled that drunken night.
So what do I do now? she asked herself, gazing down at their joined hands. Can I trust that he’s telling me the truth this time? Or am I nothing but a pawn in some twisted game of his?
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said softly, lacing his fingers through hers.
She glanced up, only to find his face mere inches from hers. “Inuyasha,” she said, pulling away, “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with someone else right now.”
A look of understanding dawned across his features. “So you have given it some thought, what I asked you last time we were together,” he murmured. He allowed her hand to slip out of his. “I’m not going to force you, Kagome. If friendship is all you can offer me…well, then, that’s all I can ask of you. Please, can we be friends again?”
Kagome’s heart skipped a beat as she looked him directly in the eye, seeing nothing but a sincere plea lurking in his gaze. He was hurt, yes, feeling the sting of her rejection of a romantic relationship, but she found no malice there.
Still, she couldn’t help but feel suspicious. “Will you stop using me to antagonize your brother?” she hedged.
“Kagome – ” he started, before squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. “Of course. For you, I’d do anything.”
She eyed him for another long moment. “Okay,” she finally relented. “We can be friends again.”
Inuyasha’s expression melted into a relieved smile. “Great,” he said. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
Kagome gave him a small smile in return. “As am I,” she admitted. “You were the closest thing I had to a best friend for the last few months.”
Inuyasha quirked a brow, his expression stilling. “And then?”
Kagome grinned. “And then I met Sango,” she replied with a laugh.
He rolled his eyes. “I see how it is,” he teased. “One wrong move, and I’m out in the cold.”
You have no idea, Kagome thought as she gathered her things and stuffed them in her bag. Don’t think I’ll ever be so naïve and stupid when it comes to our friendship again.
“How about we grab some lunch?” Inuyasha asked, breaking into her wary thoughts. “My treat?”
Kagome stood, picking up Sango’s blanket and shaking it out. “Sounds good,” she replied with a smile.
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: Y
Summary: A collection of oneshots & drabbles centered around the fleeting moments in Sesshoumaru's and Kagome's relationship as they fumble towards one another. AU; Serial.
un_love_you Prompt Table here. Prompt for this piece is: #28 (Author’s Choice): “Stop playing games with me.”Title: Contrition
Universe: Alternate (modern era)
Rating: T (a bit of citrus)
Word Count: 2304
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Summary: Kagome confronts Inuyasha about his role in destroying her relationship with Sesshoumaru.
Author’s Note: #18 in a series. Part 1 | Parts 2-17
This chapter is dedicated to
psyco_chick32, for helping me decide on which of the two prompts to choose from (even if she doesn't realize it).The mega-meta resource post has also been updated with a few author's notes for those interested.
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
Kagome heaved a sigh of relief as she threw herself down on the blanket-covered ground. “Thank goodness that’s over,” she groaned dramatically to Sango, who gave her an indulgent smile and shake of the head in return. Kagome rolled onto her back, stretching out like a lazy cat in the afternoon sun. “Why does finals week have to coincide with the most beautiful weather we’ve had in ages?”
Sango glanced down at her over the top of her sunglasses. “Think of it as nature’s warped sense of humor,” she drawled, before turning her attention back to her phone.
Kagome shrugged, reaching into her bag for her own pair of shades. The girls were sitting on the edge of a park that adjoined the university’s campus, along with most of their fellow classmates. The sun was shining brightly down on them, the breeze warm as it stirred through their hair. It was a perfect late spring afternoon, not to mention the end of finals week.
“How’d you do?” Sango inquired, flipping her phone open as she received another text message.
Kagome groaned again, covering her face with her hands. “All I can say is, thank God it was the microeconomics of business – a class I could pass in my sleep!” She paused, peeking between her fingers to ascertain whether her friend was paying attention. Sango gazed down at her with a wry smile, as if she knew what was coming next. “Which I might as well have been doing, considering my mind has been otherwise occupied lately…”
Sango gave her friend’s hand a sympathetic squeeze. “Kagome – ”
“I know, I know,” Kagome interrupted, pushing her sunglasses up the slope of her nose. “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen again, in its own time. I guess…I guess I just wish I knew if it was meant to be…”
She bit her lip to keep an unexpected wave of tears at bay. Pull yourself together, girl, she reprimanded herself. It’s not so bad as that, and you know it. You’re just exhausted from exams, that’s all.
Still…
It was hard, being so close and yet so far from the one she loved – sharing an apartment and a somewhat tenuous friendship with him, when she wanted – no, needed – so much more. The breadth and depth of her love for Sesshoumaru continued to grow, almost daily, fueled by fleeting moments in his presence: sharing a quick cup of tea in the morning, bumping into each other in hallway, studying in the common room while he quietly read his newspaper. She often found herself gazing at him, her heart longing for him as it always had, her body aching for the touch it had once known.
Maintaining a friendship with him was the only thing that pulled her from the depths of her despair following their bitter breakup. Ironic, perhaps, but she’d have it no other way. More than anything, she wanted him to be happy, and if that meant settling for a platonic friendship, then so be it. She would not push – after all, the last time she’d forced him to show his hand, she had been ill-prepared for the consequences of her actions.
She couldn’t stop herself from wishing, however. A little piece of her would always hold out hope that they would find their way back to each other. After all, if it was meant to be…
“So, that was your last exam, right?” Sango chirped, cutting into her friend’s heavy thoughts.
“Mmm,” Kagome mumbled, closing her eyes and positioning herself for optimal sun exposure. She’d love nothing more than to dream the afternoon away, maybe pick up where she left off that morning – a sensual summery getaway with the object of her affection to someplace terribly romantic, holding hands in the park, kissing in the rain, making love by the fire – from which she had been so rudely awakened by her alarm clock.
“Good,” Sango replied, her fingers flying over the keypad of her phone. She made a noise of satisfaction a few moments later, which caused Kagome to crack open an eye.
She regarded her friend warily. “Why did you ask?”
Sango waved her hand dismissively as she typed out a response. “I just wanted to be sure,” she hedged, hitting the send button with a flourish and glancing up, as if searching for someone.
A small knot began to form in Kagome’s stomach as she sat up. “Sango? What’s going on?”
Sango lifted her chin in reply, drawing Kagome’s gaze across the small park. Her heart plummeted to the lower reaches of her stomach when she realized Miroku and Inuyasha were approaching them, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
“Sango!” Kagome hissed, pulling off her shades. “I told you, I don’t want to see him!”
Sango gave her a pleading look. “Please, Kagome, just talk to him, okay? It’s been hell on earth trying to keep him at bay these last few weeks.” She paused, glancing down into her lap. “Besides, I think it would do you both a world of good to get this out in the open and settled, once and for all.”
“But Sango, after what he did to me, how can you – ”
Sango clapped her hand on Kagome’s arm. “Please?” she asked quietly. “You’re both my friends, and I hate seeing you in such pain. If you won’t do it for your own peace of mind, will you do it for mine?”
Before she could respond, Miroku and Inuyasha arrived at their blanket. Sango scrambled to her feet, pressing a kiss to her boyfriend’s cheek and taking his arm. “I’ll trade you,” she offered with a smile.
“Hmm, I’ll take you up on that,” Miroku replied coyly, giving his companion a little push forward while at the same time returning his girlfriend’s kiss.
Kagome quickly turned away from the sweet scene, shoving her sunglasses back over her eyes. She had no desire to see Inuyasha, for sure, but it was also hard to see another couple being so openly affectionate. Some wounds were still too raw.
“We’re going for lunch,” Sango announced, reaching for her bag. “You two stay and have a nice chat, okay?”
Kagome shot her a murderous look, mercifully hidden behind the tinted shades, as the pair strolled off, Miroku’s arm hooked loosely around Sango’s waist.
Inuyasha sat down on the blanket, not far from Kagome. She tacitly ignored him, staring out over the expanse of the park, her heart thudding heavily in her chest. She wasn’t sure what she felt – a mix of emotions, anger and sorrow and panic. She hadn’t spoken to him since unexpectedly waking up in his bed over a month ago.
“So are you ever going to talk to me again?” Inuyasha finally asked.
Kagome glanced at him. He was sitting quite stiffly, his arms wrapped around his knees, his gaze focused on the middle distance, also shielded from hers by sunglasses. The set of his shoulders and the thin line of his mouth betrayed the nervousness and insecurity he hid under the gruff tone of his voice.
“Should I?” she replied quietly.
He turned to face her then, peeling his sunglasses from his face. His eyes were intense as they met hers, a silent, affirmative plea.
Butterflies began to gather in her stomach as she looked back at him. God, but she hated confrontation. “I know what you did. I know who you are.”
He furrowed his brow, his expression puzzled. “What are you talking about?”
Kagome’s hands curled into fists at her sides. “I know you’re Sesshoumaru’s brother,” she spat with an exasperated sigh. “I know you were only using me in some twisted game to get back at him.”
Before she could place him, Inuyasha shot across the small space that separated them, his mouth meeting hers with hunger and urgency as his arms closed around her waist. Kagome found herself melting into his embrace under the heat of his kiss. “Are you so sure about that?” he whispered as he pulled away, one of his hands rising up to caress her neck.
Kagome’s head was swimming as she drew her breath. “Inuyasha,” she managed, her tone pleading, “stop playing games with me.”
He kissed her again, gently this time, his lips moving softly over hers. “I’m not playing,” he murmured. “I want you.”
She pushed him away. “Why? To spite Sesshoumaru? I saw the email you sent him after we slept together.”
His gaze smoldered. “I’ve always wanted you, Kagome. From the first moment I laid eyes on you, last year. Everything I’ve done since is because of that – no other reason.”
“Does that include dumping me with all the others after that Halloween party?” she asked warily, resisting another caress.
He looked hurt as his hand fell away from its intended destination. “I told you, I was called away from school last November,” he replied.
“Don’t lie to me,” she said sharply. “I know all about you. Sesshoumaru showed me your files.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Kagome,” he argued, his brows knitting together. “I don’t know what Sesshoumaru showed you, but he’s too paranoid for his own good sometimes. My interest in you has absolutely nothing to do with him.”
Kagome gave him a disbelieving look. “And threatening to kick his ass on numerous occasions was what, a joke?”
Her heart stopped at the searing gaze he sent back. “I was only trying to protect you,” he replied, the hint of a growl edging into his voice. “He’s been nothing but a monumental jackass to me in what few dealings I’ve had with him, and I didn’t want you to be hurt by him as well.” He took her hand in his. “I care too much for you to let that happen.”
“Inuyasha…” Kagome found herself at a loss for words. He sounded so sincere – how badly she wanted to believe him! Her gut told her he wasn’t evil incarnate, and even if his reasons didn’t necessarily justify his actions, she had little doubt that he cared for her as much as he said he did.
“You’re the first good person I’ve met since…” He paused, swallowing convulsively as he traced the lines of her fingers. “…since I’ve moved here. You’ve made coming here, and living here, a pleasurable experience, when it had been nothing but a nightmare since my mother’s death.”
Oh, God, she thought, her heart flooding with sympathy for him as the details of his past emerged from the haze of her memory – she knew he had only recently come to this country after growing up under his mother’s care in France, and that it had been quite the battle to separate him from his maternal grandparents upon her death. No doubt he had fought tooth and nail the idea of coming to live with the man who had abandoned him for most of his life, which just made her all the more curious about his relationship with his father. She already knew of Sesshoumaru’s shaky connection to their father – was it possible that Inuyasha somehow fared even worse?
Or was this all some sort of elaborate story he was conjuring to garner her sympathy and trust once more? After all, he had played a decisive role in destroying her relationship with his brother, and he had relished it – well, what she could remember of it. A blush rose to her cheeks as she recalled that drunken night.
So what do I do now? she asked herself, gazing down at their joined hands. Can I trust that he’s telling me the truth this time? Or am I nothing but a pawn in some twisted game of his?
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said softly, lacing his fingers through hers.
She glanced up, only to find his face mere inches from hers. “Inuyasha,” she said, pulling away, “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with someone else right now.”
A look of understanding dawned across his features. “So you have given it some thought, what I asked you last time we were together,” he murmured. He allowed her hand to slip out of his. “I’m not going to force you, Kagome. If friendship is all you can offer me…well, then, that’s all I can ask of you. Please, can we be friends again?”
Kagome’s heart skipped a beat as she looked him directly in the eye, seeing nothing but a sincere plea lurking in his gaze. He was hurt, yes, feeling the sting of her rejection of a romantic relationship, but she found no malice there.
Still, she couldn’t help but feel suspicious. “Will you stop using me to antagonize your brother?” she hedged.
“Kagome – ” he started, before squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. “Of course. For you, I’d do anything.”
She eyed him for another long moment. “Okay,” she finally relented. “We can be friends again.”
Inuyasha’s expression melted into a relieved smile. “Great,” he said. “I’m so glad to hear that.”
Kagome gave him a small smile in return. “As am I,” she admitted. “You were the closest thing I had to a best friend for the last few months.”
Inuyasha quirked a brow, his expression stilling. “And then?”
Kagome grinned. “And then I met Sango,” she replied with a laugh.
He rolled his eyes. “I see how it is,” he teased. “One wrong move, and I’m out in the cold.”
You have no idea, Kagome thought as she gathered her things and stuffed them in her bag. Don’t think I’ll ever be so naïve and stupid when it comes to our friendship again.
“How about we grab some lunch?” Inuyasha asked, breaking into her wary thoughts. “My treat?”
Kagome stood, picking up Sango’s blanket and shaking it out. “Sounds good,” she replied with a smile.