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Allegiance | 9: Bargain
MASTER SERIES INDEX IS HERE.
Click here to read original entry (200 words)
Title: Bargain - Expanded
Universe: Canon
Rating: T
Warnings: Angst, sadness
Word Count: 886
Summary: Sesshoumaru weighs the consequences of Kagome’s bargain.
Author’s Note: Ahahaha, I thought this one wasn't going to get much of an expansion, and look at how it ended up: longest piece of the series yet.
This is a direct sequel to Repentance (they can be read as one long, expanded scene as far as I'm concerned.) Also, for the curious who have read the original drabble already - yes, we get to see just how Sesshoumaru reacts to being called “darling” by Kagome.
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
“Tell me what happened to Rin.”
Sesshoumaru’s eyes shot open, his gaze locking onto the woman kneeling by his bedside. Oh, the irony. Of course she would poke her nose where it didn’t belong, wondering just how it was she came to be at his side instead of the little human girl who had long accompanied him.
It was only a matter of time, really.
He shouldn’t have been so shocked.
Kagome gazed back at him steadily, her fingers warm and pliant as they kneaded his back with comforting strokes, waiting for the answer to her query.
“That’s none of your concern,” he ground out, bracing himself for the onslaught of righteous indignation that he was certain would be her response. God, how he loathed being at the mercy of her volatile emotions – !
He was pleasantly surprised when she reacted in no such way. He watched her carefully, striving to stay on his guard despite the heavy temptation of sleep that hovered over him.
She was silent for a long moment, her eyes slipping down to her lap, yet she continued to stroke his back softly. He could sense it slightly, the war she waged within herself – even as his youki slowly reasserted its control of their mutual bond, shielding him from the quick, stabbing flashes that accompanied her waves of ever-changing sentiment.
Finally, she found her words. “Isn’t it?” she replied, her tone calm but determined as she addressed him. “We’ve pledged an alliance to one another, and made a blood oath…and right now you’re the one suffering for it.”
Her voice broke, tears threatening behind her eyes, her fingers curling into the skin of his back. She took a deep breath, collecting her wits, allowing her calm, rational side to persevere over the waves of anguish and fear.
He furrowed deeper into the warm circle of his mokomoko, observing her closely as she gathered her courage.
“You know my past, Sesshoumaru,” she continued, leaning closer, letting her gaze meet his. “You know my secrets, my memories, my regrets. All I’m asking is that you grant me the same courtesy.”
He marveled at the degree of control she held over herself, as if she finally realized just how integrally connected they were now – and just how much her unpredictable emotional state affected him. He found it admirable that she was allowing herself to be so vulnerable in front of him, as if in repayment for being the cause of his current condition.
The serene sense of tranquility that fell over him simultaneously soothed him, and made him even more suspicious.
The light stroking of his back fell away as she traced the contours of his face, her fingers drifting along his temple and over the pointed shape of his ear. He shuddered under her delicate touch as a soft wave of concern and compassion rolled over him.
“Let me know you, understand you,” she urged.
Maybe…he had kept this firmly buried, for so very long, but if there was one person who knew what it was like to have loved and lost…
“My darling Sesshoumaru,” she whispered, clasping his hand. “Trust me. Help me. Let me help you.”
He hardly heard the words of her bargain; instead his mind began to spiral uneasily at the dusty old term of endearment. Darling. No one since his mother had called him that, except –
– once –
“Don’t patronize me,” he mumbled, unable to draw up the necessary indignation under the heavy slumber that pervaded the room.
She bristled, drawing back slightly. “What?”
“I am not your ‘darling,’” he replied, his youki roaring at the very idea. “You hold no love for me in your heart, not as long as you mourn that disgusting hanyou.”
“W-what does that have to do – ” she stumbled, flustered, her careful control slowly crumbling as his youki blossomed forth once again.
“How can you presume to ‘help me’ move past the mistakes and regrets of my past, when you still cling to yours?” he mused, his voice low and guttural.
Some small, irrational part of him found perverse pleasure in watching her fumble for an answer. Push her away – protect yourself – she has no right – !
“So you admit it was a mistake, whatever happened,” she pointed out, reigning in her irritation and attempting to move back to the subject at hand.
“Woman,” he warned, narrowing his eyes. “I advise you not to continue this line of reasoning, so long as my claws are in such close proximity to your neck.”
She squeezed the hand she held between hers, fighting to keep her emotions under control, aware that his youki was quite awake and ready for battle. “Why do you threaten me?” she asked softly, gently. “I only wish to help you.” We’re in this together; work with me, please.
“You wish to help me?” he murmured, disguising his uneasiness with cool anger. “Then leave me be.” He withdrew from her grasp, rolling across the mattress, putting as much space between them as possible.
No. She would not.
He would not allow her.
Darling...
It was over, done, buried in the past. There was no use dragging it up now. He couldn’t change what had happened.
He couldn’t bring a dead girl back. Not again.
And no bargain was worth reliving that grief.
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"Darling" oh he is NOT A HAPPY PUPPY.
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And at this moment, he'd have no compunction about clawing you for saying such a thing :P
:( Poor Sesshomaru. Glad to see Kagome understands just how her emotions are affecting him, and how she's adapting to try and help him.
Indeed; she just pushed a little too hard this time. She'll learn the boundaries; they both will - its just this particular moment in time, while he's reliving this anguish for the first time in however long - in stunning, technicolor detail no less - was not the best time to press for details.
I'm glad he's still sympathetic, even as he threatens Kagome's life, heh :)
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Lesson #1 for Sesshomaru: Anything even remotely connected to Kagome is generally done IN EXTREMES.
Emotions are in quadruplicate.
And at this moment, he'd have no compunction about clawing you for saying such a thing :P
*hides under her desk, armed with pepper spray* Who knew this could come in handy? Yaaay for knocking out sensitive noses.
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Emotions are in quadruplicate.
I think he's well aware of that by now, LOL. Good thing his youki's powerful - he's at the end of his rope after three days of this.
*hides under her desk, armed with pepper spray*
Let's just say I'm regretting tempting the muses for this expansion. He decided to let me know, in no short order, that this was not the time when they would reconcile their differences.
Like he's ever easy to deal with :P
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and he is not willing to on intimate terms(darling) unless she is willing to cut her ties to previous relationships.
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But really...can we expect anything less from Mr. Stubborn-and-Always-in-Control? Good thing Kagome's just as likely to dig in her heels!
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It's deep and emotional... I luv it -drools and waits for the next one with puppy eyes-
Sesshomaru doesn't want people to get close, but I think that's totally coherent with the way you write him. He's very... how to phrase that... anal... lol
-puts away her freudian hat-
Anyway, Good work lass. Take care ^_^
Dewa mata
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:D Thanks! :) I fear it may be a bit in coming; this week's prompt is inspiring me in other directions. Plus, this was just a bit more emotional/angsty than I anticipated.
When Sesshoumaru doesn't want to do something, he very emphatically doesn't want to do it, LOL!
Sesshomaru doesn't want people to get close, but I think that's totally coherent with the way you write him. He's very... how to phrase that... anal... lol
He's quite good at protecting himself, isn't he? Just another wall to be scaled, and luckily it seems Kagome's just the person to have the skill and patience.
He was quite close, I think, but in the end just shut down from the sheer emotional volatility and strain. After all, in the other pieces in the series he's already shown that he's willing to let her in - but only if she's willing to let go of her past.
They are at an empasse. It will be interesting to see how they work around it.
I'm looking forward to finding out just as much as you are, LOL! :)
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Ah, well, in France we say 'A têtu, têtu et demi' (it's too late to attempt a translation... -yawn-) Kagome is just the person that old stubborn dog needed, and she's strong enough to let the past go... but is he? -smirk-
Anyway, going to bed -mumbles under her breath about dogs and barking at ungodly hours-
See you XD
PS: by the way, I'm far from inspired by the current prompts... I think I may write a little bit for 'whispers' while waiting for a prompt worthy of my notice -haughty snort-
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Ah, well, in France we say 'A têtu, têtu et demi' (it's too late to attempt a translation... -yawn-) Kagome is just the person that old stubborn dog needed, and she's strong enough to let the past go... but is he? -smirk-
I have a feeling it will very much be on his terms (or so he thinks! *ducks from the growling muse*)...but considering the ending, maybe it won't be so simple.
by the way, I'm far from inspired by the current prompts... I think I may write a little bit for 'whispers' while waiting for a prompt worthy of my notice -haughty snort-
*perks up* Oh really? Love that story, OMGOMG!!
I know what you mean about feeling uninspired...that's the way I am with the
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And I liked the fact that Sesshoumaru was unwilling to give ANYTHING at this moment in time. How could he with Kagome still tearing through her own memories--which he is reliving along with his own emotionally stunted pain?! The girl pushed WAY too hard, if you ask me. She was making headway and then fell on her face!
Hopefully next time, she will do better....
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LOL, such an impassioned response! I *love* it! :D You've definitely hit on what I was attempting to articulate - that she was trying, pushing her boundaries, but she went overboard before she realized it. (How could she know calling him "darling," which she meant to use as a placating term, would trigger something even worse than what he was already experiencing?)
Even though we know how the story ends, there's still a lot to be told on the way to there. Sesshoumaru's faced with something he can't yet control, and she's prodding against a very sensitive, raw wound; of course he's going to shut down immediately in response. That's how he operates, that's how he's comfortable. But he'll also learn he can't hide from her just because it's painful. They both have some growing (& healing!) to do.
Though I've no idea where the muses will lead me next on the timeline, I'm very much enjoying writing on this series :)