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Suffocate
Read it at: LJ* | MM.org | FF.net | New! dA*
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Pairing: Miroku/Sango
Rating: Y
Based upon:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mirsan_fics #18 | Possess
Inspiration: “Send the Pain Below” © 2002 Chevelle
This piece was actually borne from a quote search I did, looking for the next perfect summary for the next installment of Fragments. I work on that story from a couple of different angles, including sometimes seeking out the summary quote to help guide me in highlighting what is most important in the scene I'm working on.
And, well, one of the quotes I found didn't exactly work for that universe, but it sparked an idea nonetheless...
But first, a bit of backstory.
It was by pure happenstance that I started writing for this community; Mir/San is certainly not my strongest or most comfortable pairing ~ but I was determined to write a lemon for them based off another song, and that was that. To "warm up," so to speak, I wrote a short oneshot and submitted it for a weekly contest atmirsan_fics ~ and, well, the rest is history.
I don't usually brainstorm ideas for this pairing, so I fell into the habit of serializing the entries I posted to that community. That's a little lazy, and I'm the first to admit it - so, after a very interesting conversation regarding what does and doesn't make a good weekly contest entry, I decided that I was going to focus less on continuing this series at that community, and more on trying to come up with something fresh and original, something that would push my own comfort boundaries and, hopefully, help me understand these characters more. That would ultimately benefit the series in which they star, no? Win-win all around :D
Nevertheless, I can't say I really sought out an idea to fulfill this prompt - more like, it fell into my lap :P I've been getting very good angsty vibes off the inspiration song, in my usual five-years-after-the-fact way *eyeroll* and I went on a quotes search to drum up some inspiration for the next piece of Fragments. I have five or six potentials already, but one seemed to call out for its own fic:
I really liked this idea of always being able to possess something, even after it is out of your physical grasp. Originally, I had much darker connotations for this piece, but somehow it evolved into something less sinister. At the same time, there is a feeling of foreboding and uncertainty hanging over it.
What still possess Sango here? What makes her cry, even after apparently getting what she's wanted all along (Miroku)? Is it the grim specter of losing her dearest female friend? Is it the haunting suspicion that things really aren't over, because they didn't get the happy ending they all expected (aka, everyone safe, alive, and in one time period)? After all, it wouldn't be that far out of the realm of reason, considering everything they'd gone through in order to defeat Naraku. Or maybe its some new fear, linked with the attack on Rin, one which was never addressed explicitly in the manga? The fact that her brother walked off with Sesshoumaru here says quite a bit, I'd think.
Mostly what I wanted to do was show that happiness and sadness exist in parallel with each other. They mourn, and yet they make love. They grieve for the loss of their comrade, and yet celebrate the fact that they are free to be together. Maybe they even feel guilt in this happiness, knowing Inuyasha is all alone.
Life is never black and white or easy to separate - and I think that's even more true with these characters. They've spent their entire lives waiting to die or losing everyone dear to them, and suddenly...the death wish is gone.
I wanted to write this from Miroku's perspective for a few different reasons - one of which was the image included at the end, of him wiping the tears from her cheek as she lay, crying in her sleep. I love those sorts of simple, subtle gestures; if done correctly, they really add depth to a piece. Another was because I feel like I don't "know" him as well as I do Sango or the others. He's the one character I connect with the least on a personal level, in the entire main cast. Worse yet, he has no analogous character from which I can draw (as I do with Sango, which I base partially on the Sesshoumaru muse that lives in my head). There just aren't many characters with his complexity and contradictions out there.
Thus far, it appears my tendency is to make him a wise, silent companion, downplaying his flirtatous/sexual side and drawing more on his ability to empathize and work through situations rationally. In doing this, I feel like I'm only getting half his character, but at least I'm understanding more with each new piece :)
I was very surprised that this piece placed first in the contest. I guess, because my "home base" is so much Sess/Kag these days, I feel like I'm a pretender to the throne. I don't know if that feeling will ever dissipate, but its certainly fun to experiment :)
[* = must be a member of the community/website to view material]
Pairing: Miroku/Sango
Rating: Y
Based upon:
mirsan_fics #18 | Possess Inspiration: “Send the Pain Below” © 2002 Chevelle
This piece was actually borne from a quote search I did, looking for the next perfect summary for the next installment of Fragments. I work on that story from a couple of different angles, including sometimes seeking out the summary quote to help guide me in highlighting what is most important in the scene I'm working on.
And, well, one of the quotes I found didn't exactly work for that universe, but it sparked an idea nonetheless...
But first, a bit of backstory.
It was by pure happenstance that I started writing for this community; Mir/San is certainly not my strongest or most comfortable pairing ~ but I was determined to write a lemon for them based off another song, and that was that. To "warm up," so to speak, I wrote a short oneshot and submitted it for a weekly contest at
mirsan_fics ~ and, well, the rest is history.I don't usually brainstorm ideas for this pairing, so I fell into the habit of serializing the entries I posted to that community. That's a little lazy, and I'm the first to admit it - so, after a very interesting conversation regarding what does and doesn't make a good weekly contest entry, I decided that I was going to focus less on continuing this series at that community, and more on trying to come up with something fresh and original, something that would push my own comfort boundaries and, hopefully, help me understand these characters more. That would ultimately benefit the series in which they star, no? Win-win all around :D
Nevertheless, I can't say I really sought out an idea to fulfill this prompt - more like, it fell into my lap :P I've been getting very good angsty vibes off the inspiration song, in my usual five-years-after-the-fact way *eyeroll* and I went on a quotes search to drum up some inspiration for the next piece of Fragments. I have five or six potentials already, but one seemed to call out for its own fic:
Even after they stopped modeling for Playboy and had settled down with other men to raise families of their own, Hugh Hefner still considered them his women, and in the bound volumes of his magazine he would always possess them. - Gary Talese
I really liked this idea of always being able to possess something, even after it is out of your physical grasp. Originally, I had much darker connotations for this piece, but somehow it evolved into something less sinister. At the same time, there is a feeling of foreboding and uncertainty hanging over it.
What still possess Sango here? What makes her cry, even after apparently getting what she's wanted all along (Miroku)? Is it the grim specter of losing her dearest female friend? Is it the haunting suspicion that things really aren't over, because they didn't get the happy ending they all expected (aka, everyone safe, alive, and in one time period)? After all, it wouldn't be that far out of the realm of reason, considering everything they'd gone through in order to defeat Naraku. Or maybe its some new fear, linked with the attack on Rin, one which was never addressed explicitly in the manga? The fact that her brother walked off with Sesshoumaru here says quite a bit, I'd think.
Mostly what I wanted to do was show that happiness and sadness exist in parallel with each other. They mourn, and yet they make love. They grieve for the loss of their comrade, and yet celebrate the fact that they are free to be together. Maybe they even feel guilt in this happiness, knowing Inuyasha is all alone.
Life is never black and white or easy to separate - and I think that's even more true with these characters. They've spent their entire lives waiting to die or losing everyone dear to them, and suddenly...the death wish is gone.
I wanted to write this from Miroku's perspective for a few different reasons - one of which was the image included at the end, of him wiping the tears from her cheek as she lay, crying in her sleep. I love those sorts of simple, subtle gestures; if done correctly, they really add depth to a piece. Another was because I feel like I don't "know" him as well as I do Sango or the others. He's the one character I connect with the least on a personal level, in the entire main cast. Worse yet, he has no analogous character from which I can draw (as I do with Sango, which I base partially on the Sesshoumaru muse that lives in my head). There just aren't many characters with his complexity and contradictions out there.
Thus far, it appears my tendency is to make him a wise, silent companion, downplaying his flirtatous/sexual side and drawing more on his ability to empathize and work through situations rationally. In doing this, I feel like I'm only getting half his character, but at least I'm understanding more with each new piece :)
I was very surprised that this piece placed first in the contest. I guess, because my "home base" is so much Sess/Kag these days, I feel like I'm a pretender to the throne. I don't know if that feeling will ever dissipate, but its certainly fun to experiment :)
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Miroku, though...he's tough. I haven't yet come to my own conclusions about why he acts as he does, which is integral to my understanding of the characters and thus, my ability to portray them "correctly". I'm aware of the way fanon typecasts him, but what draws me to him is those very things you mention - he's a thinker. He's wise, and careful, and is, in many ways, the patient one that grounds the Inutachi. So for him to simultaneously be that sort of person, as well as a self-ascribed con and lech, boggles my brain.
I'm envious of people who understand him and write him well, like you :) Its a tough balance to maintain. I feel like, to write him as I have in all the pieces I've written, is to only understand part of him. There's more justification for his behavior in Nihon Idol, but my muses have yet to be convinced completely. So, I'll keep chipping away at him, and maybe one day I'll understand him totally.
I think I'm more stunned that it seems 'Destined' is turning more into a story being told from Sango's POV just as 'Absolution' is so much Miroku's tale. Maybe she is finally talking to me.
It took me a good long while to settle in with Sesshoumaru, but once he gave me a chance, I never let him go ;) Sango seems to be just as cautious - but you're doing a wonderful job with her in Destined.
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I`m really interested in seeing you get to know these characters, especially Miroku. He`s a tough cookie, and it`s so easy to cast him one way because he`s got so many aspects to his character. Maturity wise, he`s definitely the strongest of the core group, and it`s easy to forget that, even though he`s a man by feudal standards, he`s still actually in his teens. Really, they all are.
And it`s weird, and I`m still not used to being older than all of them! D:But anyway, you`re doing very well for what`s still a relatively new pairing for you. I, for one, am glad to have ya around! :)
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Well, "possess" isn't exactly a word with positive connotations, you have to admit. The quote was certainly striking, and it rings true, no matter what you think of Hefner and Playboy.
I`m really interested in seeing you get to know these characters, especially Miroku. He`s a tough cookie, and it`s so easy to cast him one way because he`s got so many aspects to his character. Maturity wise, he`s definitely the strongest of the core group, and it`s easy to forget that, even though he`s a man by feudal standards, he`s still actually in his teens. Really, they all are.
And it`s weird, and I`m still not used to being older than all of them! D:Indeed, and I'm actively trying to stop myself from typecasting him just as badly as the fantwits, even if it is in the opposite direction :P I'm a fairly reserved person, myself, so lecherous and this sort of extroverted behavior is quite foreign to me. With S/K, I have the ability to exploit their differences because they are so glaring. With M/S, the case its quite so clear.
And, well, there's a reason I don't write in the immediate canon universe - though I've only been 'into' this fandom for a few years, so I was always older than the principals :P
But anyway, you`re doing very well for what`s still a relatively new pairing for you. I, for one, am glad to have ya around! :)
Thanks! :) Its that sort of support that keeps me plugging away at something that does not necessarily come naturally to me. I made a lot of good friends in S/K fandom, but the crazy over there seriously distorts the signal-to-noise ratio o.O The Mir/San ship is so laid back and welcoming, its almost like stepping into a completely different fandom altogether!
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For me, it`s Kagome I can`t get in touch with. I have yet to really figure out why that is, though I suspect that she feels very `generic lead female` to me sometimes. Miroku is easy, both his heavy and light aspects, and Sango isn`t very difficult either (though I often neglect her angstier side...oh, Kohaku!angst). I can even pull off Inuyasha. But Kagome. Argh.
I was younger than Kagome when I started out, and most definitely a fantwit. :) It`s funny being on the other side and looking back. Oh, the years....
And are you kidding me? There are too few of us Mir/San shippers to start any wanking. If we drive away ANYONE who writes this pairing, it`d be shooting ourselves in the foot. Unless they`re just that bad, but that`s another issue entirely.
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Overanalyzing is like my middle name, LOL ~ I get the weirdest shit from the weirdest sources, sometimes :P
For me, it`s Kagome I can`t get in touch with. I have yet to really figure out why that is, though I suspect that she feels very `generic lead female` to me sometimes.
That's because she is. For me, Kagome is the one with the widest range - you can write her a bunch of different ways before you start crossing the lines of OOC-ness. She's the most generic, as your average, everyday modern girl, and thus, can be manipulated the most.
A lot of writers use her as their avatar in wish-fulfillment stories (this is the MO of 75% of S/K writers, there's no doubt in my mind), which drives me batty and probably puts off a lot of readers looking for IC-fic.
And are you kidding me? There are too few of us Mir/San shippers to start any wanking. If we drive away ANYONE who writes this pairing, it`d be shooting ourselves in the foot.
I really wish the other ships in this fandom had that sort of attitude. Believe me, sharing a favorite character with the crazy contingent is very, very painful and makes me question what I'm even doing here more often than I care to admit :-/
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Haha, you're not the only one. I get ideas from the strangest places sometimes. In fact, I usually get a proliferation of ideas during church, of all places. -_-; Thanks, brain. Thanks.
She's the most generic, as your average, everyday modern girl, and thus, can be manipulated the most.
LOL, you have a point there. It's probably the generic I don't like. I love having the limits of characterization and getting all of the details right. That, and I just don't relate to her. Kikyou, on the other hand...
A lot of writers use her as their avatar in wish-fulfillment stories
I hate when people do this. In any fic. It's like, ugh, go keep your fantasies to yourself, plzkthx, I want to read GOODFIC. Hence the reason I avoid the S/K like the plague. Unless it's Sess/Kagura. x3
Believe me, sharing a favorite character with the crazy contingent is very, very painful and makes me question what I'm even doing here more often than I care to admit :-/
Well, if you ever find yourself questioning too much, we'll be glad to take you on full-time over here in our little corner of fandom. We'll treat you nice and not break your brain by being crazy. ♥
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As do I - but sometimes its fun to have a character that you don't have to work so hard with/worry so much about. *shrug* Or maybe that's just me, because Sesshoumaru is my favorite character and he is not exactly easy to write well... o.O
Hence the reason I avoid the S/K like the plague.
I warn you - if you hang around me long enough, you'll probably start reading my S/K stories. And even *gasp* liking them! (LOL, or so I've heard from every other non-S/K fan on my f-list ~ apparently I have magical powers of conversion or something, IDK :P)
Well, if you ever find yourself questioning too much, we'll be glad to take you on full-time over here in our little corner of fandom. We'll treat you nice and not break your brain by being crazy. ♥
That's because you guys are awesome :D Its nice to know I'll always be welcome somewhere, LOL!!
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I think my Sango push come from seeing so many people butcher her. I have read so many badfics where she is a bitch or this whinny thing. Destined started out because at the end of manga, so many writers had Sango as this happy mama and I was like "WTF?". After everything that happened, did they really believe she just fell into wife and mother that easily?
Miroku has always been my secret crush. I think I'd love to talk to him more than any member of the Inutachi. So much of his story was really left out of the manga and that has made me curious.
I'm hoping that Sango pipes up and tells me what she's thinking. Next chapter, she's getting married and having sex...I would like her to cooperate! LOL
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You can still be attached to details with Sesshoumaru...he just isn't going to vocalize them. Period. I mean, how many manga panels out there are of him standing around going "..." ? LOL!
Of course...I've also seen your little sidetrips into Inucest, and, well, I can't help you out there :P
I think my Sango push come from seeing so many people butcher her. I have read so many badfics where she is a bitch or this whinny thing.
*nods* I definitely understand that pain! I hate the way she and Miroku are marginalized in most of the I/K fic out there. If anything, I'm surprised there *isn't* more focus on these two in fandom, given their considerably smaller screen-time in the manga (and anime).
Miroku has always been my secret crush. I think I'd love to talk to him more than any member of the Inutachi. So much of his story was really left out of the manga and that has made me curious.
Well, you're doing an awesome job so far with Absolution - I know I'm looking forward to seeing how he resolves his issues!
I'm hoping that Sango pipes up and tells me what she's thinking. Next chapter, she's getting married and having sex...I would like her to cooperate! LOL
You mean that isn't an enticing prospect for her? :D It is for me - yay, more Mir/San lemons!!!
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