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Confrontation (Prompt #20) | Inuyasha
Collection Title: Fleeting
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: Y
Summary: A collection of oneshots & drabbles centered around the fleeting moments in Sesshoumaru's and Kagome's relationship as they fumble towards one another. AU; Serial.
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un_love_you Prompt Table here. Prompt for this piece is: #20: “I hate you, you bitch.”
Title: Confrontation
Universe: Alternate (modern era)
Rating: T (language)
Word Count: 2027
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Summary: Kagome confronts Sesshoumaru about their relationship, demanding answers she may not be ready to hear.
Author’s Note: #15 in a series. Part 1 | Parts 2-14
Suggested soundtrack: So Cold (C) 2006 Breaking Benjamin
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
~*~
Shit, Sesshoumaru thought, coming to an abrupt halt just outside his curiously-open bedroom door. This is the last damn thing I need to deal with right now.
Of course, it’d already been the day from hell; what was one more disaster on top of the rest? Especially since all he’d been dreaming about since leaving the apartment that morning was coming home, preferably to pick up right where he’d left off. After a nightmare midterm for his class, and the worst meeting with his thesis advisor to date (the man would be a dick on the eve of the whole damn project being due), he wanted nothing more to crash, regroup in peace by himself, and seek a bit of solace in his girlfriend’s arms.
Instead, an eerie feeling of dread had hovered over him from the moment he walked in the front door; now he knew why.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled, shoving open the already-ajar door to his bedroom. He couldn’t stop himself; this final violation of privacy was enough to drive him over the edge of reason. He’d been figuratively poked and prodded all damn day; was it too much to ask that his personal space not be invaded as well?
“I could ask you the same thing,” Kagome returned coldly, swiveling around in his desk chair to face him. The pure anger radiating from her gaze brought him up short; that feeling of dread exploded into a full-fledged wave of horror and realization as she held up the stack of internship applications he was to turn in with the final version of his master’s thesis.
His world tilted on its axis as she swiftly stood, holding herself absolutely rigid in a vain attempt to control herself. She glared at him with a force equal to his own inner discontent, and he found himself actually fearing the next words that would tumble from her lips.
You knew this was going to happen, he reminded himself as they stared each other down, the tension in the room ratcheting up with each passing moment. You knew the moment you gave in to your feelings and kept this from her that it was going to come back and blow up in your face.
Not that he found such hindsight particularly comforting in this moment.
“When you were going to tell me?” Kagome finally asked, her voice low and sarcastic, waving the papers at him. “After you fucked me? Oh, that’s right, you’d have to fuck me first!”
Sesshoumaru winced, but felt no need to respond. This first wave of accusation was bit cruder than he anticipated, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He gazed back at her steadily as his mind worked overtime to regroup – to calm the natural defenses that raged through his body, to think of a way out of this. How much did she know? What was her source of information?
In the end, could any of this be salvaged?
The question was like ice in his veins.
She began to shake as the silence stretched between them. Her hands curled into fists at her sides before she whirled around, slamming them on his desk. “Goddammit, Sesshoumaru! Why? Why did you keep this from me?” She glared at him over her shoulder. “Can’t you at least tell me that much?”
He took a deep breath, willing himself to relax. “I had my reasons,” he replied.
“And those would be?” She stood tall again, crossing her arms over her chest as she half-turned to face him.
Because I want you.
Because I didn’t want to hurt you.
Because I don’t want to lose you.
The words stuck in his throat, silently choking him. He closed his eyes against the accusation in her gaze.
When it became clear he wasn’t – or couldn’t – reply, she spoke again. “Is this the only reason you’re with me? You’re dating me so I’ll grant you a job at my family’s company?” He felt the heat of her glare even behind his eyelids. “You truly think so little of me? Or are you really such a cold, heartless bastard?”
His chest constricted, adrenaline coursing through his body as his natural fight response flared up. He opened his eyes and opened his mouth, but apparently not fast enough for her tastes. She bolted across the room, shoving him hard, her mouth twisted into a frustrated sneer, her eyes flashing with seething, unbridled rage.
“Answer me, dammit!” she cried, pushing him again. Her tone was losing its cool sarcasm, quickly rising along the edge of hysteria. “Why can’t you just want me, like I want you?”
He seized her shoulders before she could attack again, whirling around and pressing her against the wall next to the open door. “What makes you think I don’t?” he asked gently, pinning her body beneath his, one hand rising up to caress her cheek. He knew his actions were desperate, but he also realized that he would never get through to her with mere words if she was this upset.
His heart stopped and his hope died as she looked up at him with a completely broken, desolate gaze, the hurt crystal clear in her eyes. “Actions speak louder than words, Sesshoumaru,” she whispered mournfully, grasping his wrists and prying his hands from her body.
Her words sliced straight through him; he fell forward against the wall as she extracted herself from his hold. How did it come to this? he asked himself as he straightened. When did it spin out of my control?
“What am I supposed to think when you spend the night in my bed and then leave without a word the next morning?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts, once again bracing her arms over her chest. “What am I supposed to think when you won’t allow me to get close to you, physically or emotionally? What am I supposed to think when you lie to me?”
“I’ve never lied to you,” he interrupted fiercely, his mind swimming in the sea of her words – accusations, allegations, assumptions. It was as if his inner self was trying to split in two, his mind systematically shutting down while his body, led by pride, grappled desperately to fight. “You don’t know the whole story.”
She just stared at him, mouth agape, whatever assertion she was yet to hurl forever lost. He watched her warily, his heart thudding in his chest, a new surge of dread railroading him as he saw her next thoughts click together.
“Don’t tell me it’s true,” she gasped, backing away from him. “Don’t tell me you’re only doing this under your father’s order!”
He scowled. “Of course not,” he spat. “My reasons for wanting this job are my own.” When this seemed to placate her just a bit, he forged on. “Who would ever tell you such a thing?”
“Does it matter?” she replied, shrugging her shoulders as she stared at him imploringly. “What matters here is that you kept this from me, even though you knew it would affect me and our relationship – and what you still haven’t told me is why. Do you really think I’m just some pretty plaything, not mature enough to handle such complicated things as being in a relationship with you? That I’m some vapid airhead whose attentions can be won with pretty words and empty promises? I really care about you, Sesshoumaru, and I’ve given myself to you in every way I know how – yet you’re still holding back. So, please, enlighten me – just what the hell else am I supposed to think is going on here?”
He stood silent throughout it all, fighting to keep himself together, resentment prickling over his nerves at his own reaction to her rambling. She had every right to lay into him like this; he’d been half-expecting, half-dreading this day for almost two months, after all. Her words, her tone, her stance were commanding even in her abject misery and frustration; if he had been a lesser man, he would’ve already been on his knees, apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
And yet…
He couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt and angry at her – that she would so readily take Inuyasha’s word over his; that she would believe whatever slanderous lies he’d planted in her mind, plans whose only design was to tear them apart. Oh, he had no doubt it was Inuyasha who had told her of this, just like he had no doubt where his vile half-brother would even get such a notion.
It always comes back to you, Father.
“I have no interest in your family’s company,” he said tersely. “I’m not a pawn, pinned under my father’s thumb, feebly following orders. Frankly, I resent the implication.”
She eyed him seriously, her skepticism writ large across her face. “Then why don’t you just do your internship at Taisho?”
“The job I’m interested in isn’t available there,” he replied.
“And what’s that?” she inquired, rising an eyebrow.
He hesitated before responding, realizing how it would sound. “Merger negotiation.”
She snorted. “And you say you’re not interested in my company!”
“The world doesn’t revolve around you,” he shot back, his patience growing rapidly thin. “If you must know, I want this job because I’m being forced to make a hostile takeover of what was supposed to be my inheritance.”
Her eyes dropped to the floor. “So I truly am a pawn. I don’t believe this. I can’t believe this!”
He resisted the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her senseless. “And I can’t believe you’d trust Inuyasha instead of me,” he replied heatedly.
“Why not?” She raised her eyes to his. “He’s never given me a reason to doubt him, whereas you seem bound and determined to keep me locked out of your life as much as possible!”
It’s all lies! he wanted to scream, but he clamped his lips shut. He could feel his blood pressure mounting, even as he schooled his features into the mask of impassive calm he always wore. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, striving to keep his tone even. “No matter what that mutt tells you, it was never my intention for you to get caught in the middle of all this.”
He watched her closely; the uncertainty that flitted across her features told him she wanted to believe him – but the anger, the hurt, the pain were all still there, crowding out any sympathy she might have felt for his plight.
“What am I to you?” she asked after a long, silent moment, her eyes searching his.
You are…
He reached for her then, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close, trying to tell her with actions what he couldn’t convey in words. He knew it was stupid and desperate – just like he knew this was the end – just like he knew that she didn’t believe him, and wouldn’t without proof, but damn if he didn’t want it to be like this. She’d come to mean more to him than he ever thought possible.
His heart sank as she resisted his embrace. She didn’t trust him, and without trust...
“If I asked you not to apply for the job,” she said softly, her words muffled against his chest. “…would you still do it?”
He pulled away, leveling his gaze on hers.
“Yes.”
It hurt him to admit such, considering how upset he was at the thought of losing her, but at the same time, he wasn’t ready to give up everything he’d worked so hard for. Not like this.
She nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought,” she replied quietly. “I never wanted Inuyasha to be right...”
That got his back up. “Believe what you will,” he said angrily, “but just know – I’m not the one lying to you.”
“Right now, I don’t know what to think, or believe,” she burst out, pushing past him. “The only thing I am sure of is that I hate you right now.” She glanced over her shoulder as she passed through the door, leaving him alone – angry – distraught – in the middle of his room.
“Goodbye, Sesshoumaru.”
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: Y
Summary: A collection of oneshots & drabbles centered around the fleeting moments in Sesshoumaru's and Kagome's relationship as they fumble towards one another. AU; Serial.
un_love_you Prompt Table here. Prompt for this piece is: #20: “I hate you, you bitch.”Title: Confrontation
Universe: Alternate (modern era)
Rating: T (language)
Word Count: 2027
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome
Summary: Kagome confronts Sesshoumaru about their relationship, demanding answers she may not be ready to hear.
Author’s Note: #15 in a series. Part 1 | Parts 2-14
Suggested soundtrack: So Cold (C) 2006 Breaking Benjamin
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, story, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media.
Shit, Sesshoumaru thought, coming to an abrupt halt just outside his curiously-open bedroom door. This is the last damn thing I need to deal with right now.
Of course, it’d already been the day from hell; what was one more disaster on top of the rest? Especially since all he’d been dreaming about since leaving the apartment that morning was coming home, preferably to pick up right where he’d left off. After a nightmare midterm for his class, and the worst meeting with his thesis advisor to date (the man would be a dick on the eve of the whole damn project being due), he wanted nothing more to crash, regroup in peace by himself, and seek a bit of solace in his girlfriend’s arms.
Instead, an eerie feeling of dread had hovered over him from the moment he walked in the front door; now he knew why.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled, shoving open the already-ajar door to his bedroom. He couldn’t stop himself; this final violation of privacy was enough to drive him over the edge of reason. He’d been figuratively poked and prodded all damn day; was it too much to ask that his personal space not be invaded as well?
“I could ask you the same thing,” Kagome returned coldly, swiveling around in his desk chair to face him. The pure anger radiating from her gaze brought him up short; that feeling of dread exploded into a full-fledged wave of horror and realization as she held up the stack of internship applications he was to turn in with the final version of his master’s thesis.
His world tilted on its axis as she swiftly stood, holding herself absolutely rigid in a vain attempt to control herself. She glared at him with a force equal to his own inner discontent, and he found himself actually fearing the next words that would tumble from her lips.
You knew this was going to happen, he reminded himself as they stared each other down, the tension in the room ratcheting up with each passing moment. You knew the moment you gave in to your feelings and kept this from her that it was going to come back and blow up in your face.
Not that he found such hindsight particularly comforting in this moment.
“When you were going to tell me?” Kagome finally asked, her voice low and sarcastic, waving the papers at him. “After you fucked me? Oh, that’s right, you’d have to fuck me first!”
Sesshoumaru winced, but felt no need to respond. This first wave of accusation was bit cruder than he anticipated, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He gazed back at her steadily as his mind worked overtime to regroup – to calm the natural defenses that raged through his body, to think of a way out of this. How much did she know? What was her source of information?
In the end, could any of this be salvaged?
The question was like ice in his veins.
She began to shake as the silence stretched between them. Her hands curled into fists at her sides before she whirled around, slamming them on his desk. “Goddammit, Sesshoumaru! Why? Why did you keep this from me?” She glared at him over her shoulder. “Can’t you at least tell me that much?”
He took a deep breath, willing himself to relax. “I had my reasons,” he replied.
“And those would be?” She stood tall again, crossing her arms over her chest as she half-turned to face him.
Because I want you.
Because I didn’t want to hurt you.
Because I don’t want to lose you.
The words stuck in his throat, silently choking him. He closed his eyes against the accusation in her gaze.
When it became clear he wasn’t – or couldn’t – reply, she spoke again. “Is this the only reason you’re with me? You’re dating me so I’ll grant you a job at my family’s company?” He felt the heat of her glare even behind his eyelids. “You truly think so little of me? Or are you really such a cold, heartless bastard?”
His chest constricted, adrenaline coursing through his body as his natural fight response flared up. He opened his eyes and opened his mouth, but apparently not fast enough for her tastes. She bolted across the room, shoving him hard, her mouth twisted into a frustrated sneer, her eyes flashing with seething, unbridled rage.
“Answer me, dammit!” she cried, pushing him again. Her tone was losing its cool sarcasm, quickly rising along the edge of hysteria. “Why can’t you just want me, like I want you?”
He seized her shoulders before she could attack again, whirling around and pressing her against the wall next to the open door. “What makes you think I don’t?” he asked gently, pinning her body beneath his, one hand rising up to caress her cheek. He knew his actions were desperate, but he also realized that he would never get through to her with mere words if she was this upset.
His heart stopped and his hope died as she looked up at him with a completely broken, desolate gaze, the hurt crystal clear in her eyes. “Actions speak louder than words, Sesshoumaru,” she whispered mournfully, grasping his wrists and prying his hands from her body.
Her words sliced straight through him; he fell forward against the wall as she extracted herself from his hold. How did it come to this? he asked himself as he straightened. When did it spin out of my control?
“What am I supposed to think when you spend the night in my bed and then leave without a word the next morning?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts, once again bracing her arms over her chest. “What am I supposed to think when you won’t allow me to get close to you, physically or emotionally? What am I supposed to think when you lie to me?”
“I’ve never lied to you,” he interrupted fiercely, his mind swimming in the sea of her words – accusations, allegations, assumptions. It was as if his inner self was trying to split in two, his mind systematically shutting down while his body, led by pride, grappled desperately to fight. “You don’t know the whole story.”
She just stared at him, mouth agape, whatever assertion she was yet to hurl forever lost. He watched her warily, his heart thudding in his chest, a new surge of dread railroading him as he saw her next thoughts click together.
“Don’t tell me it’s true,” she gasped, backing away from him. “Don’t tell me you’re only doing this under your father’s order!”
He scowled. “Of course not,” he spat. “My reasons for wanting this job are my own.” When this seemed to placate her just a bit, he forged on. “Who would ever tell you such a thing?”
“Does it matter?” she replied, shrugging her shoulders as she stared at him imploringly. “What matters here is that you kept this from me, even though you knew it would affect me and our relationship – and what you still haven’t told me is why. Do you really think I’m just some pretty plaything, not mature enough to handle such complicated things as being in a relationship with you? That I’m some vapid airhead whose attentions can be won with pretty words and empty promises? I really care about you, Sesshoumaru, and I’ve given myself to you in every way I know how – yet you’re still holding back. So, please, enlighten me – just what the hell else am I supposed to think is going on here?”
He stood silent throughout it all, fighting to keep himself together, resentment prickling over his nerves at his own reaction to her rambling. She had every right to lay into him like this; he’d been half-expecting, half-dreading this day for almost two months, after all. Her words, her tone, her stance were commanding even in her abject misery and frustration; if he had been a lesser man, he would’ve already been on his knees, apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
And yet…
He couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt and angry at her – that she would so readily take Inuyasha’s word over his; that she would believe whatever slanderous lies he’d planted in her mind, plans whose only design was to tear them apart. Oh, he had no doubt it was Inuyasha who had told her of this, just like he had no doubt where his vile half-brother would even get such a notion.
It always comes back to you, Father.
“I have no interest in your family’s company,” he said tersely. “I’m not a pawn, pinned under my father’s thumb, feebly following orders. Frankly, I resent the implication.”
She eyed him seriously, her skepticism writ large across her face. “Then why don’t you just do your internship at Taisho?”
“The job I’m interested in isn’t available there,” he replied.
“And what’s that?” she inquired, rising an eyebrow.
He hesitated before responding, realizing how it would sound. “Merger negotiation.”
She snorted. “And you say you’re not interested in my company!”
“The world doesn’t revolve around you,” he shot back, his patience growing rapidly thin. “If you must know, I want this job because I’m being forced to make a hostile takeover of what was supposed to be my inheritance.”
Her eyes dropped to the floor. “So I truly am a pawn. I don’t believe this. I can’t believe this!”
He resisted the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her senseless. “And I can’t believe you’d trust Inuyasha instead of me,” he replied heatedly.
“Why not?” She raised her eyes to his. “He’s never given me a reason to doubt him, whereas you seem bound and determined to keep me locked out of your life as much as possible!”
It’s all lies! he wanted to scream, but he clamped his lips shut. He could feel his blood pressure mounting, even as he schooled his features into the mask of impassive calm he always wore. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, striving to keep his tone even. “No matter what that mutt tells you, it was never my intention for you to get caught in the middle of all this.”
He watched her closely; the uncertainty that flitted across her features told him she wanted to believe him – but the anger, the hurt, the pain were all still there, crowding out any sympathy she might have felt for his plight.
“What am I to you?” she asked after a long, silent moment, her eyes searching his.
You are…
He reached for her then, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close, trying to tell her with actions what he couldn’t convey in words. He knew it was stupid and desperate – just like he knew this was the end – just like he knew that she didn’t believe him, and wouldn’t without proof, but damn if he didn’t want it to be like this. She’d come to mean more to him than he ever thought possible.
His heart sank as she resisted his embrace. She didn’t trust him, and without trust...
“If I asked you not to apply for the job,” she said softly, her words muffled against his chest. “…would you still do it?”
He pulled away, leveling his gaze on hers.
“Yes.”
It hurt him to admit such, considering how upset he was at the thought of losing her, but at the same time, he wasn’t ready to give up everything he’d worked so hard for. Not like this.
She nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought,” she replied quietly. “I never wanted Inuyasha to be right...”
That got his back up. “Believe what you will,” he said angrily, “but just know – I’m not the one lying to you.”
“Right now, I don’t know what to think, or believe,” she burst out, pushing past him. “The only thing I am sure of is that I hate you right now.” She glanced over her shoulder as she passed through the door, leaving him alone – angry – distraught – in the middle of his room.
“Goodbye, Sesshoumaru.”
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Definitely not my favorite chapter to write, but it had to be done. We'll see how many people stay aboard after this...
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I don't know who to feel more sorry for!
Then I've done my job right :) I never pictured Sesshoumaru as one who would be mouthy and brash during an argument; I think he's much more likely to shut down when faced with a blast of emotion. So, even though he doesn't argue so much, we can see how much it truly is affecting him beneath that calm facade.
I look forward to your next installment!
So do I - this was rather depressing to write :-/
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Poor Sess :( Having such a bad day already and then that...
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I liked switching POVs here; I think Sesshoumaru would come off too unsympathetic if this chapter came purely from Kagome's point of view, considering he basically shuts down in the face of her accusations.
This still feels like a make-or-break point, so here's hoping I didn't fuck it up but good :P
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second off, OMG DON'T END IT LIKE THAT, I HATE CLIFFHANGERS AFTER HEART BREAKERS!
oh the drama...c'mon love...win in the end...however and whenever that end may happen...
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OMG DON'T END IT LIKE THAT, I HATE CLIFFHANGERS AFTER HEART BREAKERS!
oh the drama...c'mon love...win in the end...however and whenever that end may happen...
I still have 16 prompts to go, so this isn't the end :)
And, since this is a romance, I solemnly swear to abide by RWA rules and give our characters the happily ever after that they deserve...they're just going to have to work for it, is all.
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But I promise my payoffs are worth it :D
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